I don’t cut myself with a razor anymore.
Or put safety pins up and down my body.
I don’t rip my fingernails off below the quick.
I don’t use the toenail clippers to remove all the skin on the pads of my fingers and feet.
I don’t use knives or any other type of sharp object to carve letters or numbers into my arms and legs.
I don’t rip out the hairs on my head, one at a time for hours.
I don’t use the tweezers to pinch tiny bits of skin until they bleed.
And my stomach hasn’t had any new marks rubbed into it for about 4 years.
I don’t have an emergency sharp saved away in books, my purse, the bottom of my shoe, jean back pocket, sunglasses case, hollow pen or anywhere else.
I don’t even think about harming myself everyday anymore.
Or even once a week.
Possibly once a month.
More like every 3 or 4 months.
And the thought comes in.
I look at it.
Acknowledge it.
Tell it I know it’s there.
And that I reject it.
I show it the door.
And I smile.
I’m looking forward to 4 more years of freedom.
One Reply to “Self Harm”
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hello.
another doocer on your site.
i just read this via the link in your bio and i am tearing up at work. i have been “clean” in the honest sense for probably only about a year or so, and i have a long road ahead of me and i just wanted to say…thanks. you put it so well at the end, and i am so happy for you, regardless of your stranger status.
also, thankyou, for putting it out there that you don’t have to be an attention getting emo-goth teenager standing around outside hot topic doing it for “fun” to be a cutter, self-harmer, whatever you want to call it. it is real, and can manifest itself in so many ways, and probably affects more people than we think, and different people than the ones that first pop into our heads.
thankyou, i wish you all the best.