Hi. Are you feeling overextended, gloomy or fuzzed out, in over your head, like you’re treading water, in a pickle, or any other idiom that describes someone scrabbling for purchase on the ledge of sane living? I can help by building support structures for you to grow in, while we create a life you don’t have to hide or escape from.
It is common for folks who work with me to be struggling with a type of neurodiversity, existing in a phase of life that is in flux or feels ungrounded, living in reaction states, struggling with isolation and/or addiction, and generally feeling like their life is unmanageable and out of control.
Together we’ll work on your Intimacy Owner’s Manual to explore who you are, what you need, and how you naturally give and receive love, understand the world, and feel best moving through life. You need to be able to solidly understand how all of your parts work, and how they work together, before others can learn how to make your system purrr. I like the metaphor of the owner’s manual for your body because you should be the one who knows the most about you, and literally own your own body, with everything spelled out clearly. Then you can hand it over to someone else for limited use in all the ways that feel good to you. When we talk about healthy sex, we sometimes forget that we have to have our own healthy sex first. When trauma is a factor, it’s infinitely more important that you understand your needs before inviting another human into the mix!
Common themes are gender journeys, reparenting and/or embracing adulthood, attachment styles, practical self-care (feeding, watering, sleeping, movement, joy), trauma work and emotional processing, mental health issues, Highly Sensitive traits, boundaries, and many forms of instability.
The amount of support and structure you need and ask for dictates how we build our work together. That could mean anything from weekly 50-min sessions that include homework, to multi-daily connections that keep you on track. I can customize a program just for you.
It’s been great to work with someone who has a really deep, compassionate understanding of queer experiences and elements of kink culture and how it has an impact on other areas of life. I feel really seen and we’re working together to create a tailor-made toolkit for me to use to make my life better. I feel completely safe in the sessions and feel I can raise any topic or say anything at all with no fear of judgement. I have made huge progress in the last 6 months and now have so many better coping mechanisms at my disposal. We’ve used some elements of kink (Dom/sub interactions) to investigate my behaviour and understand my motivations and needs. We’ve looked at how this dynamic can spread into other areas of life, such as work, and relationship with family and friends. It’s been a really useful tool in understanding my emotional reactions to a whole range of situations. I’ve learned to recognise and understand some longstanding behaviour patterns that I hadn’t noticed I was repeating. I now feel like I know what’s behind them, what they mean, what my underlying motivations are, and what reward systems I had set up in my brain. ~F.R.