I have the results back from the internal ultrasound. The ultrasound, by the way, was one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever done. I think the woman that did it was angry at my vagina. Or she was angry at someone else’s and took it out on mine. In any case, she created some kind of paper-cut feeling throughout the inside which was very painful for a few days. The cover she used on the wand was made out of some crinkly plastic, kind of like what a shower cap is made out of. It had a seam all the way around the edges which she used to torture me with. I found out later that they usually use a condom on the wand. What’s up with that? A condom would have been a great choice!
Anyway, the more important part of the story is that the results show that the largest cysts are just under an inch and fluid filled. None are dense looking and will not need to be checked out for cancer. I just have to wait and see if my body will reabsorb them or if they will burst. It’s a fun game, yes? I didn’t know I was so worried about it. But after saying out loud to Joe for the 40th time, “The cysts are fluid filled,” I guessed I must have been more worried than I let myself know.
So, from here on out it’s no beer for me, getting more than adequate sleep, never eating protein or carbs unless they are together and always exercising first thing in the morning before eating anything. And by the time 6 months rolls around, I’ll be feeling much better, I can tell already. Everything that happens in life is a blessing somehow and it’s our job to figure out how. I’m still working this one out. I can’t quite see it yet but I know it’s in there somewhere.
Joe has been incredibly supportive. He has been sweet and understanding and comforting. Everything a great partner should be. I really struggle with feeling inadequate since I’m not exactly holding up my end of the load here. He’s got a lot of extra pressure to make more money since I’m working less hours at work for the next few months. And through it all, he keeps calling me baby and scratches my back at night before I fall asleep. He tells me I’m beautiful after I’ve been crying for 5 hours straight from the pain. He strokes my hair and tells me what a great job I’m doing taking care of myself. I think I’m falling in love with my husband all over again.