Two Things

1. Quick interview with me re: United States of Tara season 3. They used a photo Tony took of me.

2. Quick recap of boring stuff for my personal records, GO. My health is poop. The maybe-you-have-fibromyalgia along with your other 10-gallon bucket of other diagnoses has turned out to be pretty much, yeah, you have that. I couldn’t open my jaw for about 5 days and it was really painful for about 2 weeks. My headaches are nuts. I feel my ovaries 24/7 with some hours making me want to poke my eyes out. I have pain all over no matter what position I’m in, which has been going on for years, but this flare up has been outstanding as far as high on the pain chart goes. I’m frustrated I can’t do all the things I’d like to do. I’m not as helpful with Gma as I want to be. And I have a healthy dose of shame and regret that my current condition is taking any of Joe’s concentration and energy away from Gma Jean. Bahblahblah. Notes to self = Approach as of April 1, 2011 – incorporate yoga, acupuncture and massage. Perhaps increase Lamictal and/or Trazedone or possibly add something else back in to the cocktail. Vicodin does pretty much nothing and acetaminophen works about as well with less risk. Heating pad is my constant companion. Let’s just keep moving forward because A, what other choice is there? and B, when you reach 77 different diagnoses, which surely I have at this point, they all kind of run together, the names become meaningless, you decide labels don’t matter, it’s all about how you feel and quality of life, and you qualify for a party, right? Since your frequent buyer punchcard is full?

LA Metblogs Interview (Two Things)

David Markland from la.metblogs.com did a fun email interview with me the other day about my involvement with Tara. You can read it here.

There is something about this Neil Patrick Harris site that is really, really funny to me. (Nato, don’t click that link. Liberal use of the F word ahoy.) If you don’t mind salty language, this is one of my favorites. And this one, too (because I hate that word and that somehow makes it hilarious). This one? Makes my brain explode.

Two Links

1) This Daft Punk/Charleston mix is awetothesome. (thanks, Alison)

2) Without going into a long, heated rant, let me just say that there is a right way and a wrong way to make internet friends and get traffic to your site. Because I feel so passionate about this, it’s better if I just link to this awesome, stellar post over at Scalzi.com where you can read how he’s said it so well. And if you’re offended by the capitol F word, you might want to skip it, since his post is peppered with a few well-placed F-bombs. Mom, you could use the Sharpie but your screen will be forever edited. (thanks, Joe)

A Few Of My Favorite Things

Sometimes, I am, in a word, Odd. I know this. For the most part I embrace it. But, it’s come to my attention that some of my favorite things are different than other people. In fact, it could be said that I have favorite things in some categories where others wouldn’t.

For example, ice. I like only a certain kind of ice – crushed but kind of soft so that the ice breaks apart easily between my teeth. I would rather have no ice than have the really hard, sharp crushed ice that, when chewed between my teeth, cuts my gums. And large cubes? No. I say no. None of that in my drink. But my really, really, really favorite part of crushed ice is when it comes out of my fridge door while I’m using the CRUSH feature and the tiny, tiny flecks get on the top along the rim of my glass and it reminds me of a snow cone or snow only better. When I finish filling my glass to 2/3rds full, I put it to my face, stick my tongue out and scoop those excruciatingly wonderful tiny flecks into my mouth. THAT is my favorite kind of ice.

I have a favorite spoon. Well, actually, spoonS. They are the only two of their kind and I have no idea where we got them. They don’t match anything and I don’t remember seeing them before we moved from San Diego a few years ago. They have a brushed silver finish, not too shiny, not too dull. The handle fits in my grasp in the most wonderful way. They have a perfect weight, not too heavy, not too light. The tip of the spoon is squared off but not harsh. The bowl of the large spoon is the perfect size for cereal and the bowl of the small spoon is perfect for ice cream. If you use one of these spoons and render it dirty for me to use next, I won’t say anything. You would probably never know they were my favorite. But, you might find that your pants are folded not as nice with the crease down the center next time. In this small way, I will be passive aggressive.

Speaking of ice cream, I don’t really like it. Except one kind – French Vanilla Bean made with all natural ingredients. And I only want one small scoop with an entire sliced banana on top and one squeeze of warmed hot fudge sauce on top. No whipped cream or nuts or cherry. And if you can get me one of those just the way I like it, I might make out with you for an hour. But, only if you are my husband. If you aren’t, I’ll just say a muffled thanks while I snarffle. And then I’ll make you a quilt or build you a house or something. But, I only want one of those once every couple of months or so.

Right up there next to the crushed ice is the smell of freshly rained-on concrete. Or bricks. I can’t really expound on those since they are as simple as what I wrote.

Links for today:
>Jason Calacanis wrote about what he’s learned about weight loss. I’ve reread it a few times now and I still like it.
>I got this little zine from Jen Lemen at Blogher. It’s inspirational and worth every cent.
>Do not click on this link if you value keeping your lunch in your stomach. But if you do click and have any idea who the demographic is for this product, I’d love to hear. (via)

Two Things

1) L.A. Bloggers Live! is on the 22nd. Sign up to read!

2) Tuesday afternoon I’ll be starting a new series which is really an extension of LA Angst. First, let me say this: there is no replacement for coming to a live show of Cringe, Salon of Shame or Angst. Being there in person is really just so awesome and fun and therapeutic that it’s hard to describe to someone else exactly what it’s like. So, if you live near Brooklyn, Seattle or Los Angeles, I urge to to make a live reading. That being said, I have so many friends and fellow-bloggers that will never be able to make an awesome live reading that want to share their angst. In order to accommodate them, tomorrow I’ll be posting the first installment where everyone online can enjoy it. If you want to share yours (You don’t have to be a blogger! This is for everyone with angst in their past.), scan in your journal entry along with a photo of you at the age you wrote it and send them to me. If there are parts that are illegible, feel free to include what it says in the email. Also – keep your eyes open for Sarah’s Cringe book coming out in March 2008!

Moving On

Thanks so much for all your thoughtful feedback on my last post. I’m very lucky to have such awesome people reading my blog. I’ve decided to write a letter to the CEO of the company to let them know what happened and then I plan to let it go. I don’t want to spend too much more time worrying about the negativity of that situation. I need all the room I can create for the positive, if you know what I mean.

That brings us to the assorted linkage of today’s program:

-Tomorrow we’re going to take the kids to the Promenade in Santa Monica and Alex and I are sneaking over to meet up with Thomas Hawk, Trevor Carpenter and some others for a Photowalk. The details can be found here at Upcoming.

This is a very accurate and compelling story written by a woman raised in polygamy and struggling to get out.

Cindy Samuels mentioned in an email the other day that my writing could be compared to Anne Lamott. Of course I then had to go reacquaint myself with her writing and found this gem. I think Lamott is fabulous and I had forgotten how much I identified with her truth. And it appears that where I’m getting to with religion might line up with her also. To think I might someday be as real and solid in my writing as her, well, it’s an honor just to be nominated.

-How many times do I have to ‘friend’ you before we are really and truly friends already? How many social networking sites have to spring up and be semi-successful before we begin using some kind universal ID system (maybe OpenID?) where I’m allowed to just suck in my already known and trusted ‘friends’ and stop having to go through the monotonous process or finding and friending you all again? Have Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, Flickr, Involver, Upcoming and Pownce taught us nothing? And those are just the ones I use the most and the ones I can think of. There are many, many others. Make my life as end-user easier, already.

Zee Catching-up, As They Say

>Last night was so hilarious. SO funny. I can’t even express it except to say my cheeks still hurt from laughing and I can’t wait for next time.

>Heather linked to this video of the tiny Mormon folk singing at school about NOT LYING (BIG SMILE) and man, I just about died from remembering how many times I sang that song as a kid. Those kids probably had to get temple recommends to be in the commercial. Oh, wait. Maybe not because here is Alfonso Ribeiro, who I believe is not a tiny Mormon folk, TELLING THE TRUTH about breaking a window in another 80s Mormon commercial. (HE’S SMILING!) I must assume they will let you be in the Mormon commercials as long as you can smile very large and for long periods of filming time.

Now THIS commercial still freaks me out. I remember bawling when it came on because my life was never going to be as perfectly awesome as the little girl who kept morphing into an older version of herself. My heart strings – they were pulled. Now when I watch, I can’t get over the fact that the mom, who has just birthed a baby girl, is hallucinating in the hospital and they are LETTING HER GO HOME WITH HER BABY! Perhaps they should check her for a little postpartum depression? If your newborn is morphing into a pre-teen and arabesque-ing down the hallway on your way out, you may have an issue or two.

And this commercial is a perfect representation of how every young adult in the L.D.S. religion talks over lunch. Always.

I don’t remember now who sent me this link (SORRY! I LOVE YOU!) but it explains why polygamy exists according to the 13-year-old male mind. Things misrepresented – the young gentleman would never be alone – Always! Always! with his companion and his name tag was WAAAAY too small. Mormon Missionaries are proud, dangit! And they have the name tags to prove it.

And please don’t live your entire life and miss the Johnny Lingo temple visitor’s center film. You can view the 3 segments here, here and here. Watch for the part where the loving father says, ‘Mahana, you ugly! What are you hiding up there for? Today is the day of bargaining. Come down and be ready to greet your husband to be!‘ so he can trade her to the highest bidder. Still, to this day, I don’t understand why they play it there. Like, it’s a really great representation of how Mormons live? Not. But, it is funny. Just ask Joe. He’s had to sit through both the original version and the new version. (Yes. It was so awesome, they made it again.)

>I’m done scanning. (YAY!)

Two Links

1) Joe and I stumbled upon Rob and Big sometime on Friday and the rest of the weekend we watched episodes online whenever possible. We’ve seen them all now and the last one was just as good as the first. Pro skater Rob Dyrdek and his bodyguard Christopher “Big Black” Boykin have a relationship that kind of defies probabilities. It’s male bonding at its finest. (And his Bulldog (who gets his own pet miniature horse) learns to skate!)

2) I’ve been laughing about these photos of Kevin for days. I recommend them to anyone trying to get through a hard time.