Speaking of social events (weren’t we?), I went ahead and booked the uWink in Hollywood for June 13 at 8pm. They are open until 1am.
I know it’s early to plan this, but my summer gets filled up real fast with kid activities, so I have to be all Ms. Planaheader to make this happen. I can’t wait to meet you! Invite a friend or two!
If you want to sponsor the event, email me here.
Shrine
There is this table in the kitchen that we never use for eating and while I was unpacking boxes and organizing everything in the kitchen and art room, I kept placing all my favorite things together, collecting them on that table.
After all the rest of the house was done, I looked around and didn’t really see a great place to put all this important (to me) stuff so I just kind of lined things up in rows. Then the next day, I leaned the larger stuff against the wall. And I just kept moving stuff and arranging little by little until one day, I walked in the kitchen and there was this shrine sitting there, showcasing all my favorite family and friend things.
I keep looking at it and wondering what I’m doing with it there, covering a perfectly good table that someone could be using for, I don’t know, a puzzle? Or a holiday craft of some kind? But they can’t because I’ve carefully placed all my stuff on it, arranged just so. And if someone so much as looks at it sideways, my heart starts to race and my neck turns red and my hands kind of fist and un-fist. Because – Hey! That’s my stuff! All over the table! Including a blanket! And a plate of green glass! So don’t even think of eating there. Or, using it like a table….oh, man, I feel like a dork.
But I can’t seem to take it down, so, if you’re in the neighborhood, feel free to come over and check out the shrine I built in the kitchen eating area. But don’t want to sit there and eat. And don’t look at it sideways.
Detailed notes when you click through to Flickr.
Yellow Circles
I was completely obsessed with yellow circles for a few days and the result was somewhere around two hundred 2″ circles of varying colors of yellow that I strung up to be a some-kind-of mobile or chandelier or hangy-down-from-the-ceiling thingy.
I was wondering what to do with it and then Diablo Cody climbed on a chair and put it on a hook for me. And I love it right there hanging from the living room ceiling.
Sunday Sunday SUNDAY
This Sunday night is the premiere of The United States of Tara on Showtime. At 10pm, I will be surrounded by family and friends and watch as a series on television tries to bring awareness to the illness I’ve struggled with since the age of four. Writing that makes me want to jump up and scream in excitement and call everyone I know and cry in relief and crawl into the fetal position from anxiety and suck my thumb all at the same time.
Along with the voices of support, I’ve had emails and a few comments from people in the DID community that are angry at the writers of the series and angry and disappointed in me for being a part of it. To them, I say this:
I hear you. I really, really hear you. You would like it if the show was easier to watch and didn’t highlight the hyper-sexual teen alter or the cruelty of the male alter. You would like it better if they showed more about where Tara comes from and why she is the way she is. Me, too.
Stay tuned. Watch a few more episodes and see how the character of Tara is handled and how she evolves. There is both humor and drama, as it should be. My life has had its ups and downs and whether I like it or not, I had alters that were very sexual and took advantage of any man they could. I see in Tara’s kids some of the same things my kids had to deal with. I had a Molly-Homemaker alter and I now cringe at the thought of how hard she tried to make everything perfect and I feel sad that she was perpetually disappointed at the impossibility of perfection. And my husband at the time had to try and guess how to deal with me when I switched. I’m betting you have some of the same alter-types I did. And that the character Tara does. And yes, it’s hard to watch, being a person with DID. But for me, that’s because it’s accurate, not wrong. You call it sensationalized and maybe you are right. I don’t agree with you but I think that is a matter of personal opinion.
But what I love about the series is that it’s TALKING about mental illness and DID. It’s making people ask questions and have conversations and maybe, just maybe, creating an environment where people with DID aren’t thought of as freaks. Where they aren’t told to keep it all a secret and perpetuate the cycle of hiding and secrecy and lies. And that is what I’m excited to be a part of – moving forward. Removing the stigma attached to mental illness, or at least lessening the hold a bit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told by someone I barely know and even people close to me to never talk about having a mental illness because it will hurt my chances at (fill in the blank). Just for telling people what I am. Just for owning what I am and how my brain works. The message is – if people really know you, they won’t think you are acceptable or good enough. They will think you are evil or weird and turn away from you. And that feels bad whether you are mentally ill, the ‘wrong’ color or sexual orientation or ethnic background or too fat or too small. No one should be discriminated against for being themselves.
I don’t feel the series is doing a disservice to DID or mental illness. I’m so THANKFUL that Steven Spielberg wanted to do a series about a woman with DID and I’m so THANKFUL that Diablo Cody read my book and asked me to be a part of it. And even though the character isn’t based on me, I identify with every personality that Tara has. In the same way I had to learn and accept that I was all the personalities that I was and own them and bring them together. And understand that everything I had ever done and everything that had ever happened had happened to ME. All of it.
So maybe you don’t identify with some of her personalities or the extent they are portrayed but that doesn’t mean someone else won’t. Let’s leave the door open for everyone with DID or any dissociative disorder to feel like they are being represented in some way. This is the maiden voyage. It’s just the beginning. If everything isn’t perfect, let’s not get too hasty and throw the whole thing out. Let’s wait a while and see the evolution. This is the first time this subject matter has been tackled on television. Let’s support their efforts and hope there is more to come.
For me, it’s a dream come true.
______________
If you are looking for my book, you can find it here.
Sale in SLC
If you live in the Salt Lake City area and you are looking for some Christmas gifts, drop by this Saturday. We’ll have a variety of things (handcrafted sterling silver and recycled jewelry, glass beaded jewelry, purses and hand-painted bags, magnets, hats and lots more!) from a variety of talented people including Robin Wade. They are letting me put my stuff up for sale there, too. Very kind.
Info:
December 6th, 10am to 4pm
Location:
1008 East Hillview Drive (4060 South)
Salt Lake City, Utah
Cell: 310-351-7998
Drop by and say hello!
xo
Traveling Abroad
This week is unusual in that I’m going to Colombia. Never been before. But when Blogher asked if I wanted to go and be the journalist and learn more about coffee, I said why not.
More details when I get back and I’ll blog from there if I can.
xo
The Sunburn Song
From Rhett and Link.
Things I Learned About My Dad (in therapy)
The Great Interview Experiment
Neil from Citizen of the Month started The Great Interview Experiment which is almost 300 people strong at this point. I understand it’s still not too late to sign up so if you’ve ever had a hankering to interview or be interviewed, go leave a comment. My interviewer was Cog of Driving the Flies who came up with some great questions for me to answer.
Why do you blog?
I started blogging as a way to keep in touch with my kids. When I discovered about a year later that they didn’t actually read it, I had to reevaluate why I blogged and decide if I wanted to continue. I decided that I wanted to keep blogging and just write about whatever was going on as a way to keep a journal. Sometimes it’s hard to write when it feels like nothing is happening or only really hard things are happening, but I keep trying. I always appreciate being able to go back and see when things happened.
How many unfinished posts do you have stashed away?
I cleaned out my unfinished posts about a month ago and it’s now at 2 from about 16. I finally admitted to myself that I had no idea what most of them were supposed to be about anyway.
Do you have a guilty pleasure blog, one that you read just for fun?
I skim about 30 blogs every other day and they are all just for fun. : )
You have interviewed a wide range of people, and been interviewed as well. What is the question you’ve always wanted to ask someone but haven’t, or a question you wish someone would ask you?
I think I’ve always asked what it is I wanted an answer to. At least, I can’t think of any burning questions that I’ve been saving up. As far as someone asking me – I suppose it’s what is your favorite number. The answer, of course, is 7.
If you could have a single day in your life to live over, which one would it be?
Wow. I have no idea. It would be hard to choose from awesomely fun days and the hard days where I actually learned the most. Two that come to mind are the day I had my first baby and the day I went into the mental hospital for the first time. Both of those days were exceedingly hard and also so rewarding. The day I got married to Joe went so fast and we were feeling stressed and it might be fun to go back and relive that day minus stress and hurry.
Comfort food?
I’m a potato girl. Baked, french fried, mashed – add a little salt and I’m in heaven. At least until I remember how many calories I just ate.
For what do you wish to be remembered?
A lot of what I do is centered on removing the stigma from mental illness. I suppose I’d like to be remembered as someone who helped that cause a bit.
What about someone’s blog dances on your last nerve?
I try to blog and let blog. Everyone has their own idea of how they want their online home arranged so there isn’t really anything that gets on my nerves. And if something does, I just don’t go back there anymore.
Your issues with mental health are well-chronicled. Given that they are a big part of you, including the many noteable accomplishments, would you trade off the cycles if you knew it meant you wouldn’t have accomplished what you have?
I wouldn’t change anything except when it comes to my kids. And I think every parent has a whole library of things they wish they could go back and change. It haunts you when you know that you did anything that hurts your kids. But even though I sometimes stay up late at night wishing I could change something, just realizing that wallowing in that pain doesn’t bring any positive results helps me to move on. Usually. : )
What piece of music/album/playlist have you carried with you across media, that you had on cassette or vinyl, to CD and now to mp3 or other digital format?
This is so sad but the only 8-track I owned that made it to a cassette and then somehow made it to a digital file is Anne Murray singing Danny’s Song. Oh, and there was a Chicago 16 which made it pretty far, too. Today I’m in love with Regina Spektor, Feist, Kate Nash, Amy Winehouse and Medeski, Martin & Wood.
Are there too many bloggers?
Never. Always more room in the pool. You never know who might pick up blogging next and say things that really touch your heart.
If someone came to you and told you they wanted to start a blog, what is the most important advice would you give this person?
Write what you feel. Don’t start a blog as a way to earn money unless you’ve been around a few years and know how to do it and even then it’s going to be really hard. Be kind when leaving comments on other’s blogs – don’t ever say anything you wouldn’t want your mother to know came from you.
Thanks,
cog
Thank you!
lpc
Christmas Baskets 2007
Yes, I KNOW that Christmas is over but I didn’t post about the baskets we made this year so you’ll have to endure and pretend it’s a few weeks ago.
I made some lip balm. For more info I suggest Not Martha and Blue Arts. Both of them have spent time creating recipes and extra info for people like me and you.
I made an army of little mice ornaments out of kisses and felt and yes – googly eyes. It took forever and I will not be repeating that craft anytime soon or ever.
The fudge was probably the easiest thing to make. I use the 5-minute recipe that just uses chocolate chips and sweetened condensed milk and you’re done in a flash. (I can’t find the original recipe but here is a wreath that Rachel Ray makes that is basically the same one if you use only chocolate chips instead.)
The chocolate dipped pretzels were fast, too. I used jimmies, red sugar and chopped pecans to coat the chocolate.
These little paper ornaments were sent out to a few friends. They were easy to make and so pretty on the tree.
I used watercolor and inks to create the trees on the cards. I like how they turned out. It’s watercolor paper that I cut to fit the fronts of pre-made cardstock cards.
Joe made these nice tree magnets using watercolor and business card papers and magnets that are pre-cut for that size.
And last but not least, we included a bookmark that was inspired by Jen Lemen‘s work. I love her downloadable prints. She gave her permission for me to pull together a smaller size for a bookmark to give to family and friends for Christmas.
Not shown for this year was a CD of our favorite Christmas music, some cheese, crackers and salami and Jelly Bellys. Next year, I predict that the lipbalm will be back as will the chocolate things.
Lunch With Diablo Cody
If you’ve seen Juno, you know what a great writer she is. She was also a lovely lunch companion. Our conversation went the gamut and I’m very pleased to have met her. She’s the type of person that is filled with compassion while discussing sensitive subjects and also notices the Hot, Sweet Mustard rich with honey produced by The Beaver Company on the table. It’s a tangy squeeze. I read her book last night. Quite entertaining.
Diablo blogs in a few places. I can’t find her MySpace one, (I found it) but here is the older one at CityPages.
Rings Part 2
Here are the finished rings. The large one is my favorite and I’m going to keep it. That stone was particularly difficult and Robin had to help me (mostly do the whole thing) finish it. So instead of feeling bad that I couldn’t hack it on that one, I’m going to look at it like a gift from her and just appreciate it.
Now that I’ve done this, I have a whole new appreciation for the craftsmanship that it takes and I’ll never balk at spending 80$ for a nicely crafted ring again.