Category: genderfluid

My piece about embracing my gender is up on Shondaland:

She grew up wearing girly clothes to fit in with her family. Years later, she cut off her hair and dressed in masculine clothes, embracing her true gender identity.

“When I was little, I learned that pretending was a skill I should cultivate. I pretended because I came from an abusive household. As long as we looked perfect, sitting in a church pew all in a row — girls with curled hair wearing modest, fluffy dresses and boys in their white button-ups with ties tight around collars — all pretending to pay attention, we wouldn’t get a pinch from mom or a thump from dad.”

“And I think I’ve been content to let it go, not think about it too hard, and not let myself want too much or care too deeply that the feelings of disgust and vileness about my body persist. I turn the attention away from me and on to them. I make my partners feel beautiful and desirable because I experience them that way and don’t ask for that in return.

I can feel pleasure. I have lots of good sex. I’m good at achieving an orgasm now. Isn’t that enough?”

Read the full piece here: Being The Feast

“Believing in a gender binary, where only “men” and “women” exist, has created a stifling system where personality traits are attributed to one gender or the other. This ignores the vast intersections where male, female, and non-binary characteristics exist, co-mingle, and crossover. What’s wrong with a man crying and being sensitive? What’s wrong with a man in a dress? What’s scary about a woman who is strong and capable and assertive? Nothing but what we’ve made it be, and it’s all arbitrary.”

Read the full piece here.

Read it here.