Here goes nothing/everything
Hello friends,
Welcome to Edgy, Wholesome, a substack newsletter series by me, your favorite edgy yet wholesome Mentor slash Pro Dom. A substack newsletter, which at this very moment, is a newborn babe with the scent of warm, yeasty bread, fresh from the oven. Delicious! Thank you for being here.
There are two workshops coming up in March: It Starts With You: Repair After Shattering, and Get Your Kinks Out: Planning Kink Scenes: A cheat sheet. I’d love to have you join me. (Sneak peek at what’s coming up later this year right here.)
I’ve been mentoring for fourteen years and a Pro Dom for six. In that time I’ve tried a lot of things with a lot of clients to help them break self-care into bite-sized pieces, making our work much more likely to have a long-lasting impact on their lives (and the lives of those around them). Over the years, there’s been one concept that has stuck out as a clear winner in creating forward movement in someone’s life.
Let me introduce you to 30 Days of Anything, which we’ll be starting on March 1, 2024. The concept is simple – do something, anything, for 30 days in a row. The trick is making that thing accessible and sustainable, both super important ingredients to the recipe we’re crafting. I’ve seen this concept change so many people’s lives for the better!
Watch out for making it too complicated or big. We’re in a marathon, not a sprint. Sure, you can prove to yourself that you can do something for 30 days in a row, but if that thing has displaced other important things like sleep or time for yourself and you’re “just making it work to get to the end,” then you’re maybe going to succeed at doing that thing for 30 days, but it isn’t likely to stick with you long-term. What you did was an endurance test and proved that you can do something hard, which, hey – I’m not knocking that in and of itself. Building strength that way can be beneficial. But, that’s not what I’m talking about here.
The goal of 30 Days of Anything is to add in one helpful thing that you’re missing – one habit that could be helpful to your daily flow or your mental health or how you treat your body and then commit to doing it for the entire month. Drink a glass of water when you first wake up. Stretch for ten minutes before you get in bed. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper at the end of every day. Set a ten minute timer when you begin to scroll social media. Take a photo every day of something in a theme, like the color red or flowers or patterns. Take your vitamins at lunch. Go through the mail and throw out the junk immediately into the recycling. Spend ten minutes learning a new language. Make eye contact with yourself in the mirror and say, I love you! Try a new crafty thing or a sport and be joyously bad at it when you start.
The last piece of the challenge is to pick a reward. Rewards need to be something you’re truly looking forward to that are also sustainable. Taking a cruise isn’t something that most people can do often. But taking a weekend afternoon to yourself to people watch or pick up a hobby for a day that you’ve been missing or going to a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try or basically anything you look forward to that isn’t too expensive and doesn’t take too much effort or time to accomplish, is perfect. Remember, we’re going for sustainability right now and we want some nearly-instant gratification. (We’ll get to bigger challenges and rewards in a few months!)
30 Days of Anything Rules:
- Choose one new thing that fits in your life without (too much) disruption
- Make a plan to do it, and try to do it at the same time every day for max ten minutes
- Choose a reward for after you succeed
That’s it! Make it easy, make is simple. The magic that happens will surprise you. Our brains love rituals, routines, learning new things, and establishing new habits. We also love rewards, especially after doing a challenge. You will be promoting neuroplasticity in your brain, making it possible for you to be more open to other new ideas in your life, giving you a wider perspective on life in general, and also improving your memory and mood.
As for me, I’m going to choose body movement for the month of March. Ten minutes of moving my body on purpose, even if it’s just stretching on the floor. My reward is going to be a dinner out with one of my favorite people during the first week of April.
Want to join me? Sign up for the Edgy, Wholesome newsletter and (about) every week you’ll get some words of encouragement to cheer you on your way. Everyone is welcome. I’d love to hear what you’re choosing. Please leave a comment with the new habit you’re embracing for March and what your reward will be!
Upgrade to the paid version if you’d like some accountability opportunities, more support, and to hear details from my own process.
Here are some ideas that I’ve used with clients in the past:
- Drink a glass of water
- Stretch for ten minutes
- Clothes in the hamper
- Ten minute timer for social media
- Take a photo in a theme
- Take your vitamins
- Throw out junk mail
- Learn a new language
- New craft
- New sport
- Gratitude log
- Make your bed
- Deep breathing
- Morning/Bedtime routine
- Brush/floss teeth
- Read from a paper book
- Eat a veggie
- Push up/planks
- Go outside
- Plan your day
- Express love to someone
- Clean an area
Thanks for reading! Hope to see you. xoLeoh