Variations of #1:
I thought you were from Utah?
Are you in Missouri?
Where did you grow up?
Did your parent’s move?
Answer:
I did not go to Missouri, although there is nothing wrong with that. Some of my favorite people live in Missouri. My parents have not moved and still live in Utah, where I went to visit them. Now I am happy to be home.
Variations of #2:
What are you working on? Is it a secret?
Did you get a new job yet?
What did you decide to do with your life?
Where are you working?
Do you remember me? I wrote you last year.
Tell me what you’re doing!
Answer:
Yes! Of course I remember you! And thank you for writing me again. I haven’t told you about what I’m doing because everything is kind of ‘in the works’ and not solid yet. If I told you the part I could actually tell you, it wouldn’t be much and we’d all walk away like addicts without our fix. But, since you are so insistent, I’ll try. I’m working on some book stuff that I can’t talk about yet, except to say that I’m not alone in my working on it and some other people are involved and things are getting done way too quickly but not fast enough. And I’m finishing up some paperwork and stuff for doing some interviews that will not just be done through email.
See?? I told you. Totally unsatisfying. I’m going to go gnaw on my arm now.
Variations of #3:
You suck!
Why do you suck so bad?
Why do you delete comments I leave on your blog that tell you how much you suck?
Do you remember me? I wrote you last year.
And – you suck!
Answer:
Yes! Of course I remember you! And thank you for writing me again and again and again. In your last email you told me you wished you could be here when I read it so you could see my face. Well, that is so sweet. I wanted to show you what my face looked like, too. Because, it is so sexy Bershon.
What the heck is going on with the nasty commenters/e-mailers right now?! I just got my first Hate Comment, complete with bad grammar and wonky spelling. It’s an epidemic, I’ve seen nastiness from commenters at several sites recently. What is WRONG with people?!
I really want to kick that commenter in the left nut.
Glad your back and uploading awesome pictures to the bershon group which has been the light of my week. Sorry for the jackholes.
“you odviouslly have nop talent” – You are so lucky to have nop talent! In fact, I wanted to get a Girl Scout badge in nop, but I never made it.
Can you show us how to nop, Leah? I know that if anyone can do it, you can.
Welcome home, you were missed 🙂
Comment haters. Guess that means your awesome and so incredibly awesome that some people cannot even deal with your awesome-ness. Kind of like Jesus.
I pity them fools.
Trolls! These people cannot possibly have a life. I go online and move from blog to blog to…and damn it is 2 in the morning again! If you do not like where you are then move along yerks! You are delightful and I loved your response! Good luck on whatever is in the works.
Oooh… all so exciting, except the you suck part. But, bershon? Awesome!
Yay! You are back. Hah, and you complain about gnawing on your arm? I am now chewing on my toenails, which really doesn’t go over very well in crowds. I hope everything comes together smoothly for you. Look forward to hearing how the trip went and what you are going to do with a billion peaches.
Well, I’m officially inviting you to Missouri. Come on over, we’ll do the brewery tour (2 free beers!) and go to a Cardinals’ Game.
“You suck!
Why do you suck so bad?
Why do you delete comments I leave on your blog that tell you how much you suck?
Do you remember me? I wrote you last year.
And – you suck!”
BWAHAHAHAHA!
Yay. You’re back. When you leave us, I feel forlorn. Don’t do it again.
Love the bershon pics… thanks for turning me on to the “I’m So Bershon” Flickr group.
I’m loving your bershon pics. Makes me wish I wasn’t so damn lazy, then maybe I’d post some too.
You were missed! I hope your time in Utah with your parents was great. Glad to have you back and posting, it’s such a nice part of my day!
yeah, you were a teenage hottie, right…very Kristie McNic. Like I told trent on Pink s the New….once you get hatrez you know you have made it! lo-ove the way you write…lo-ove the comments on other sites, too…v.v. funny 🙂 Yay, grown folks!