Peepshow

Everywhere I look there are flowers. I’m running and running and then finally come upon a swing set. Fabio turns to me and says, ‘Would you like a push?’ Without replying, (because I’m sure he knows my every thought) I jump up on a swing and Fabio’s big, strong (quite frankly, too large and bordering freakish) arms begin to push me higher and higher. The quiet creak-creak of the swing set gets louder and louder until it’s almost a deafening sound. I cover my ears with my hands and fall from the swing to the ground. Fabio won’t stop staring at me and it’s making me very, very uncomfortable.

And then I wake up and realize that there is someone outside my window peering in. My second story window. Peering in. At me. And making a sound that after a few moments I realize is tape. I just lay there, eyes tightly closed and willing myself to disappear. Maybe if I hold really still he won’t notice me! I do my best imitation of a turtle in the shell at midnight. The guy out the window says, ‘Good morning, Ma’am.’ And then I die.

I move my arm as slowly as I can so as not to call attention to myself, grab my phone on the bedside table and text Joe.

leahpeah: dude right outside my window.
leahpeah: seriously. can’t move. man right there! i’m in my underwear!
joe: hang in there baby.
leahpeah: how do i get out of bed? he can see me!
joe: i guess you cant.
leahpeah: oh well. there goes my day. and it was going to be a GOOD day, too.

Apparently, the owners are painting the exterior of the house. Good to know that it included a peepshow and that I could provide it, free of charge.