Once upon the time there was a man and a woman that tripped into like and then fell into love within the same year. The next year was full of learning experiences that changed them both and held tremendous growth. It was wonderful.
A month or so before the 2nd anniversary of their relationship, the man decided it was time to ask the woman to marry him. Not all together comfortable with the idea but feeling pressured to not let her get away, it was difficult for him to do it and he warmed up with some practice ‘askings’ until one night he mustered the courage to make her and himself believe it was real. She asked him right back to which he readily agreed. It seemed perfect and they spent the night holding each other and not thinking of anything but how much they loved each other. It was wonderful.
A few days went by. The woman called her parents, her sister and her friends to tell them the great news. She started thinking about plans to make their wedding more them and less traditional. The man went to school. He went to work. He didn’t want to talk about it and didn’t want to tell his family or friends. The woman, knowing he was a slow starter in some cases, convinced herself that this was the reason he had climbed into his shell and didn’t want to think that he regretted his decision to ask her to be his bride. It wasn’t very wonderful at all.
After 2 weeks or so of his quiet, sullen and resentful behavior, she had had enough and confronted him. He reluctantly agreed that he had been acting strangely. He admitted that he, in fact, did not want to marry her but didn’t want her to move away. The thought of losing her made him willing to sacrifice his need to go slower and so he had proposed. He still thought that wanting to be with her was as good as wanting to marry her and they should just go ahead and get married.
The woman, on the other hand, felt sad and frustrated that he had not been truthful. She was hurt that he looked at marrying her as a sacrifice at all. In her opinion, getting married should be a happy occasion and entered into with joy and full commitment from both parties with a clear idea of what being in a marriage contract means.
After explaining her thoughts and feeling to him, they hugged and cried and realized that getting married someday will most likely be the right thing but getting married now would definitely not be.
Last night the couple went on a date to celebrate the past two years together. They went to a movie and a bookstore. They bought a new blank book to be the third volume in their couple scrapbooks. They went to the same restaurant they had met at and they talked about honesty and forthrightness and seeing each other socially.
It was wonderful.