The “Crap My Roommate Left Behind When He Moved Out” Sale
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Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2005-04-10, 2:16AM PDT
Have you always wanted to own the former possessions of a bad reality show actor who couldn’t come up with half of the rent for a cheap apartment? Now you can! Everything listed below is for sale. Email if you’re interested in anything. If you want to buy a whole ton of stuff at the same time for cheaper, make an offer.
KITCHENWARE
(all in good shape unless otherwise noted)
� Set of eight Mikasa side plates with a floral pattern. Ceramic. One has a small chip, all others are unchipped. $5
� One small white ceramic bowl from Pottery Barn. Holds 450mL (15 fluid ounces) of liquid comfortably. $1
� Three small vaguely egg-shaped drinking glasses with a matching taller glass. Fairly intricate base; you’d expect to see fancy cocktails served on the rocks in the smaller ones. $2
� Martini glass with a blue spheroidal bit at the top of the stem. $1
� Round-topped glass with an octagonal body and a small chip on the base. Heavy glass; holds 250mL (8 fluid ounces). 50�
� “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” coffee mug. White ceramic. $2
� Three champagne glasses. Black stem and base. $2
� Three largish shot glasses (at least that’s what they look like). One has a character on the front who looks like she should be called “Heidi of the Non-Toxic Plastic Alps.” $1
� Tallish shot glass, sandblasted, with “I <3 NY” on it. $1
� Three blue drinking glasses with a ridgey pattern on the inside. 450mL (15 fluid ounce) capacity. $2
� Tall glass jar, suitable for storing spaghetti in. $3
� Blue plastic measuring cup. 1L capacity. 50�
� Sterilite Ultra-Seal tupperware-esque pitcher; airtight lid has a pivoting top for easy pouring. 2L capacity. Still has original sticker on it. Probably unused. $2
� Rubbermaid Servin’ Saver resealable tupperware-esque container. 400mL (14 fluid ounce) capacity. Includes lid. 50�
APPLIANCES
� Oster eight-speed blender. Base is missing “Liquefy” button cap (though if you really really want to use the “Liquefy” setting for some godforsaken reason and not the speed faster or slower than Liquefy, you can press it anyway). Accompanying jar is missing the lid, but this is a fairly standard part. The motor runs without causing either the blender or my fuses to explode. $4
� Sunbeam six-speed blender with no missing parts. The designer of this thing seems to have been obsessed with spheres. The motor runs without causing either the blender or my fuses to explode. $7
� Toastmaster Snackster sandwich press. You know, the kind that allows you to take whatever random ingredients you have left in your fridge three weeks after going to the supermarket and make them into a Grilled Peanut Butter and Chutney Sandwich. $7
� BRITA Water Filtration Pitcher. It’s probably a good idea to change the filter before using it. I don’t have a replacement filter. $3
� Black & Decker Toaster Oven. Fairly new except that the top heating element doesn’t seem to work. So it will work just fine for almost everything except broiling. $12
� Wind Machine giant plastic fan. It works. It’s powerful. It will probably blow small puppies across the room. It could do with a good cleaning though. $10
FURNITURE
� A fairly comfortable padded upholstered grey chair. You would probably want to use this at a desk rather than attempt to actually relax in it. $15
CLOTHES
� Black polyester pants. 33 inch waist, 32 inch inseam. $5
HOME DECOR
� Candle holder of some kind. Wood base, frosted glass cylindrical bit for the candle, carrying handle, and a Faraday cage to surround the candle in. Why candles need to be in Faraday cages is beyond me. $4
� Another candle holder. Rectantular right prism shape with a lid and carry handle so you can use it as a lantern. Glass windows in the sides so you can see the candle. $4
� General Electric torchiere lamp. Missing the knob to turn it on (though you can still operate the switch). Uses a 55W 2D lamp. No, I don’t know what a 2D lamp is either. $7
� Ceramic-looking table lamp with missing lampshade. Lamp itself is a bulbous shape; brass-colored base; rest of the lamp is what I can only describe as “off-teal.” Comes with a spotlight bulb. My roommate used a hat as a lampshade for this thing. I can’t find the hat. $5
� Two glass vases, about the same size as wastepaper baskets. You could probably use them as wastepaper baskets if you wanted to. $5 each
� Blue glass vase. Spheroidal. Put roses in it and put it on a table. $5
� Curtain Rod Hooks. Brushed stainless steel or something similar. You get four of them. $7
� Two pieces of copper pipe, roughly five feet long. Roommate used them as curtain rods, though I suspect you could probably use them for plumbing or smashing holes in things. $2
� Large fabric sheet. Probably queen-sized. Beige. $3
� Some random pillowcases, mostly white. $4
USEFUL HOUSEHOLD ITEMS
� Ironing board. White, great condition, but needs a new cover. $10
� RadioShack TV Antenna. Black. Comes with AC adapter. $10
� Magazine holder. Black wire mesh. $5
� Magazine holder. Chromed wire. I think my roommate displayed LPs on this thing. $3
MISCELLANEOUS NONSENSE
� FREE Magazines that were in the magazine holder:
o Boat International USA. December 2004. It’s about boats, believe it or not.
o Clear Magazine. Volume IV Issue 3. Photos of models half-covered in paint, smarmy self-congratulatory articles about industrial design for products no one has never heard of, photographs of somebody’s knee, and so on.
o Star. February 21, 2005. Supermarket tabloid.
o Nylon Guys Magazine. Spring 2005. Lots of articles explaining how to spend ridiculous amounts of money to achieve that “just rolled out of bed wearing clothes I found for $2 at the Salvation Army” look.
o Donn Mason catalog. Spring-Summer 2005. Underwear, pajamas, bathrobes, smoking jackets, slippers, etc. Paper so thick and glossy it’s probably more non-stick than a Teflon-coated skillet.
o InStyle. February 2005. Handbags, weddings, sofas, celebrities, bicycles, makeovers, etc.
o Vanity Fair. February 2005. SPECIAL COLLECTOR’S EDITION! EXCLUSIVE STAR WARS SPECTACULAR! blah blah blah blah blah.
o Season Magazine. Winter 2004. Covering Atlanta and the Southeast since 1981. Home decor, cars, dresses, makeovers, travel, recipes, people in suits, etc.
� Calculus with Analytic Geometry: Sixth Edition. By Roland E. Larson, Robert P. Hostetler and Bruce H. Edwards. (c) 1998 Houghton Mifflin Company. Includes receipt from the Ricks College of Rexburg Idaho bookstore dated January 8, 2001, with a purchase price of $99.80. You get it for $30
� Calculus: Second Edition. By James Stewart. (c) 1991, 1987 by Wadsworth, Inc. From the era before textbooks were full of photos, snazzy computer graphics, and other nonsense to try and inject fun, excitement, and distraction into learning. $20
� 9-inch model of a late 90s or early 2000s Mercedes-Benz C320. Black. Comes already mounted on a display stand. $15
� Something that looks like a clock, but it isn’t a clock. The hands don’t move. The “numbers” are squiggles or Arabic or something. Features some flower-like design in bold blue lines. Useful for convincing yourself that it’s permanently 7:48 and fifty seconds. $5
� Plastic electric Chanukkah menorah, for when Christmas alone isn’t tacky enough. $5
� The Pump Energy Food: A Revolutionary Cookbook and Eating Plan to Create the Body of Your Dreams. Paperback. First edition. (c) 2005. $5
� The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Hardcover. (c) 2002. Christianity, the meaning of life, and so on. Endorsed by Billy Graham on the back cover. $5
� Word Power: Spelling and Vocabulary in Context. Intermediate 2. Fill-in-the-blank workbook. Completely unused. $3
� Cyndi Lauper: A Night To Remember. Audiocassette. (c) 1989 CBS Records Inc. One Side Of This Program May Be Of Longer Duration Than The Other To Preserve Album Continuity. $1
� California Pizza Kitchen Server Workbook. Looks like it’s from 2003. Experience the joy of being a waiter without having to actually wait tables. $1
� California Pizza Kitchen name tag. Now you can pretend to be Shane from Los Angeles. If your name really is Shane, this is even better. $1
� Smallish blue box with hinge-open lid covered in faux blue feathery stuff. $1
� 10th Anniversary Beanie Baby in newish-looking condition. Owl with graduation cap that reads “Class of 2003.” Tag is still attached. I thought this company was bankrupt already or something. $5
� Some kind of four foot long by six inch wide perspex tray thing. Red and clear. $3
� Blue plastic tubing with Christmas lights inside. Plug it into the wall and the lights turn on. $5
� Eyeglasses that don’t seem to magnify anything. $1
� Freaky-looking doll with ceramic head. $3
� Small plush puppy stuffed animal. Looks clean, smells clean. $5