The entire street is lined with houses whose attics and garages have spewed forth the Christmas cheer they have been incubating for the last 11 months. I imagine that the light strings had wrapped themselves around the inflatable snowman’s neck in such a way that he threatened to cut them with his jagged stick arms if they didn’t back the freak off. What happened next is anyone’s guess, but the result is that every single home has sparkly lights and animated creatures on the lawn. Except ours.
I’ve heard them whispering with each other, the neighbors. They converse over the fence as I walk up the driveway from the car, talking about how we must be heathen Satan worshipers. Or Jewish, although they hadn’t noticed a yarmulke.
Actually, it’s just that we won’t be in town for the actual Christmas celebration and the kids won’t be with us this year, so there isn’t really any reason to decorate. No one would be here to appreciate it. But I’ve decided not to tell the neighbors. I kind of like being Jewish. I might buy Joe a beenie.
You know what would really piss them off? Hang up all the lights and everything, but never turn them on. Please do it.
…or a giant menorah in the front window–just to keep the gossip flowing in the right direction.
DARK SIDED!!!! ROFL! Okay that’s only funny if you saw the Trading Spouses with that freakishly overzealous Christian lady…sorry for being a dolt on your blog if you didn’t see it…lol!
we’re the same way this year. only, we do have a christmas tree up. but all the neighbors are wondering why no lights. i’ll tell you why… WE’RE NOT RETIRED! WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO PUT UP LIGHTS BECAUSE THE SUN GOES DOWN AT 4:45 HERE AND WE’RE WORKING ALL. DAY. LONG!!!
i say, let ’em gossip. it gives them something to do.
I think you should alternate holidays. One year, decorate for Hanukkah, the next year, decorate for Christmas. It’ll confuse the shit out of them and it will be AWESOME.
If I were you, I would definitely pretend to celebrate Kwanzaa. How much fun would that be? I have no idea what you could do to your house though. Hang a leopard skin on the front door? String some yams over the patio?