FAQs

Who do you work with?
I specialize in working with queer, non-binary, trans folks, and their allies, often on a journey to release trauma build-up, often chronically ill, or experiencing concurrent health issues, in bodies with many levels of abilities. I’m honored to hold space for my long-term clients who are sometimes on a gender journey, or veterans of many types of therapies who are looking for a healing modality that brings everything they’ve learned together.

More Answers

What kind of work do you do?
I’m a mentor who helps people take better care of themselves, primarily by sharing what’s worked for myself and my clients over the last two decades (as well as the latest science) and helping them learn to hold themselves accountable.

I have clients all over the world. I’ve held many in-person workshops about rituals, self-care, intimacy, our parasypathetic nervous system, kink as a healing art*, and self-kink. I also mentor new Dom/mes and help them understand what draws them to this work and how to do it well. If you’re looking for more on my background, you can find it here.

Most of my long-term clients are interested in learning how to be happier, find more meaning in their lives, and feel more connected to themselves and with community. I help them increase their self-care, maybe teach them self-kink, and help them tune-in to self-direction that serves them. I help students finish grad school or study for the bar. I help teach basic skills to those who never learned them or learned them poorly. I help business owners find time when there is none. I help parents find their footing through a rough patch with their kid. And I help everyone release shame and connect to themselves more deeply and with more care, which creates the opportunity for deeper and more meaningful connections with others.

*Kink is inherently somatic in nature. I can help you understand why you’re drawn to the healing ability of kink sharing my understanding of how we store trauma in the body, connecting the mind, and tapping into energy flow. I use my skills as an energy practitioner (reiki, cranio sacral, energy medicine), certified Holistic Health Coach, and mental health advocate to create a unique, individual, healing experience that can blend the body’s pain response, if that’s something that works for you.

What is mentoring with you like?
Delicious! Heart-opening! Soul-healing! Mind-awakening! Usually hard from time to time! I made some short videos a couple of years ago that show me talking about my work on with clients. (They were made pre-T, so expect my voice to be different.) You can view the series here.

We’ll meet virtually once a week or so for a few months or for as long as it takes for you to feel prepared to move forward in your life. If you happen to live local to Seattle or Portland and would like to meet in person, we can do that, too.

But like, can you help me come up with a very specific plan for what's next for me?
Yes. Yes, I can. If you feel especially confused or stuck or not sure which way you need to go in your life, I can help you understand your own needs and wants with an invaluable, personalized Life Map.

I'm ready! Where do I sign up?
Wonderful! Go here and reserve some time with me! I’d love to meet you.

Can I get a discount? Do you have a sliding scale?
I do have a sliding scale for virtual mentoring and you’re welcome to contact me to discuss, especially BIPOC folks. I’ll ask you to write me a short essay to make sure we understand what our work together looks like.

I also have two rotating scholarship slots at an extreme discount. They last for 3 months and there is a waiting list. Reach out to get on it.

I feel shy/embarrassed/afraid to talk to you about kink/sex/gender.
Oh, hey, bb. Everyone who is queerly out or deeply in love with kinking once had a first time and a first person they trusted. I’d be honored to be the one to show you the ropes (see what I did there?). Besides being very good at what I do, I’m approachable, safe, knowledgable, and fun. First-time kinkers and not-yet-out babes are super welcome.

Can you show me how to do kink on myself?
I absolutely can! It’s one of my favorite things to do.

I think it’s one of the most valuable healing modalities I’ve ever learned for myself. There are limitations to what can be done according to your abilities and what is physically possible and safe, but there’s lots of good stuff I can show you either privately or in a small group so you can use it as a part of your regular self-care. Modifying for abilities is a beautiful process.

Payments and Cancellations
You will be required to reserve your sessions in advance. If you are a no-show, I will wait 15 minutes for you before closing the session. I understand that emergencies happen and if I can fit you in during the same week, I’ll do so. If it happens twice in a row, bb, we will have a hard conversation.