Viral Facebook Post – Hi There, White Friends

This post went viral on Facebook. As I post this, the counts are: 10.4k+ shares, 3.4k+ comments, and 20k+ reactions. Here is the full text. At the bottom you’ll see a video where I answer some of the most common questions that came my way in response to this post.

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Hi there, white friends. I want to talk to you for just a minute and I’m going to be using the CAPS to highlight, not to yell.

I see you out there, marching and trying to be better than you were last year, last month, last week, yesterday. I see you trying to figure out how to be an ally to the Black community and to other marginalized groups. I’m doing that, too.

And, then I see you read something from a person who is expressing their hurt and anger, one of our Black sisters, and your old programming comes right back up *bloop* and it’s hard to not just grab those old feelings and put them right back on. Because you’re trying, right? You’re out there, right now, doing what you can and trying to change. So you get angry. You get frustrated. And you say, “Well, why even try then, because I can’t do anything right.” And then you post something like that on your FB wall and you get all the comfort, outrage, and support from your friends who say, “Yeah! You’re a good person!”

Stop. Just stop. Our Black sisters and other marginalized friends have every right to be angry and frustrated and impatient and sarcastic or anything else they want to be. Because they are expressing THEIR LIVED EXPERIENCE. And if there’s one thing you don’t want to do while trying to be an ally/interrupter/co-conspirator, it’s crap on someone who is sharing how upset they are that we, as white women, have been no-shows for centuries and now still have a tendency to make everything about ourselves. This is OLD PROGRAMMING that pops right back up and our instinct is to center ourselves. This does not make you bad, it makes you a white person who has lived in privilege your entire life and it makes you have to pay attention and apologize a lot when you mess up.

The best thing you can do is take in all those feelings coming from our sisters who are hurting and angry and OWN IT. Remind yourself that yes, you’re trying because THIS is how they feel. You’re doing what you’re doing because it’s RIGHT and it’s how humans with empathy and sympathy and a working heart should live their lives once they figure it out. Not because all the Black women are going to magically start appreciating you. They owe you NOTHING. Mark the date on your calendar when you’ve got as many days under your belt being awake as you did being asleep, and then, maybe, start being a tiny bit impatient when others don’t recognize your efforts. My own date is June 17, 2061. I will be 91.

I tell you this with sincere love in my heart because I KNOW you’re trying. Sit in the discomfort of these moments. It’s ok to not feel comfortable. That’s how lots of people around the world live their lives every single day. Comfort is not our goal. Equality is. <3

 

EDITED AGAIN: Get the Tshirt here.

 

EDITED: I can’t keep up with the commenting but please know I’m appreciating them all. I had to ban a few people in the last hour who were not here for the vibes I’ve offered. Let me just say clearly that all are welcome unless you hate. Hate is not welcome in this space.

 

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Response Video is here.

That’s What She Said

I’m so excited to share my new video series, That’s What She Said. I’ve been working on this idea for months. I couldn’t ask for two smarter women to have on board: Elan Morgan and Kelly Wickam. (Kelly had just returned from Ethiopia and then had a power outage because of a tornado warning(!) the night we met for this first episode, so she’s missing.)

In The Hammer Itself is not Evil, Elan and I discuss where our online and offline lives intersect.

Video: Elan, Aidan, Cats and Notebooks

Leahpeah chats with Elan aka Schmutzie, Aidan aka the Palinode. Special appearances – Onion, Oskar and Lula. Show and Tell segment – nerdy notebooks.

Background noise provided by a noisy laptop fan on Leah’s Macbook Pro, creating a hostile environment to all musical choices that might be used as intros, extros and interludes. Try to think of it as a highly sought after sound file I had to hunt down to match the filmstrip theme of the video.

San Diego Artist: Perry Vasquez, Part 1

(Posted at San Diego Union Tribune)

Yesterday I posted about Alexander Jarman, who is curating a show at the Southwestern College Art Gallery called More Real Than Life: An Exhibition of Contemporary Collage.

Today I’m focusing on Perry Vasquez, the gallery director, and artist in his own right.

Perry was nice enough to let me come to the Southwestern College Art Gallery to see the show coming together. It’s great to go see a show on opening night and view all the pieces, plumped up in the perfect light and showing off their party dresses, but there is something altogether fascinating to me about getting a behind-the-scenes look at the parts that make up the finished show. The nitty gritty, if you will. It’s enough to whet your appetite and make you hungry for opening night.

I’ve got another video coming of Perry, which I hope to post early next week, that focuses on his own work. The following video is a sneak peak into the upcoming exhibition, More Real Than Life.

SHOW DETAILS:

Thursday, March 8: Opening
Artist Talk for Students and Staff: 12 p.m., Reception 11-1
Public Reception: 6-10 p.m. Artist Talk 7-7:30 p.m.
Light refreshments provided

Southwestern College is located at 900 Otay Lakes Road in Chula Vista, California. Gallery hours are Monday-Thursday, 9-5

Exhibiting Artists:

Sadie Barnette, Based in San Diego, CA.
Mike Calway-Fagen, Based in San Diego, CA.
Troy Dugas, Based in Lafayette, Louisiana.
Lola Dupre, Based in Avignon, France.
Chris Kardambikis, Based in San Diego, CA.
Gordon Magnin, Based in Los Angeles, CA.
Morgan Manduley, Based in San Diego, CA.
May-ling Martinez, Based in San Diego, CA.
Arturo Medrano, Based in New York City, NY.
Jason Sherry, Based in San Diego, CA.
Joshua Tonies, Based in San Diego, CA.

San Diego Artist: Alexander Jarman

Alexander Jarman shows me his studio. He wears a tie and a sweater. His manner is quiet and professional and perhaps a bit reserved. At least until you get him talking about something he cares about: Art. Then, his face lights up and he becomes someone you’d like to pull a chair up closer to, and drink great coffee with, while he explains how William S. Burroughs and the dadaists were collage artists.

I got to experience one of Alexander’s projects he did with his sister and fellow artist, Savannah Jarman, called the Picnic Project. The Jarmans collected fabric and created a 1000ft picnic blanket, which debuted at last year’s Art Labs during the San Diego Art Fair.

Alexander’s studio is small and cozy. He’s a collage artist, so piles of snipped papers are everywhere. It’s a bit of a treat for your eyes, these pieces he puts together. Colors, images, shapes and logos you recognize, cut, arranged and glued together in new ways.

Alexander is curating a show at the Southwestern College Art Gallery which opens this Thursday night, March 8th (details below the video): More Real Than Life, An Exhibition of Contemporary Collage.

Thursday, March 8: Opening
Artist Talk for Students and Staff: 12 p.m., Reception 11-1
Public Reception: 6-10 p.m. Artist Talk 7-7:30 p.m.
Light refreshments provided

Southwestern College is located at 900 Otay Lakes Road in Chula Vista, California. Gallery hours are Monday-Thursday, 9-5

Exhibiting Artists:

Sadie Barnette, Based in San Diego, CA.
Mike Calway-Fagen, Based in San Diego, CA.
Troy Dugas, Based in Lafayette, Louisiana.
Lola Dupre, Based in Avignon, France.
Chris Kardambikis, Based in San Diego, CA.
Gordon Magnin, Based in Los Angeles, CA.
Morgan Manduley, Based in San Diego, CA.
May-ling Martinez, Based in San Diego, CA.
Arturo Medrano, Based in New York City, NY.
Jason Sherry, Based in San Diego, CA.
Joshua Tonies, Based in San Diego, CA.

Book and Mag Update

Hello Friends! Thank you so much for your support of my book and magazine. I feel so lucky to be able to do things I really love and be able to support myself. Want to submit to Issue 2 of LPCHmag? Go here.

Season 2 of Tara starts on March 22nd. This season is SO GOOD, you guys. We get into the reality of family support of a member having a mental illness and co-consciousness with personalities, meaning more than one personality is out at the same time.

You can see an interview Showtime did with me on the Tara website. Look for it on the right side of the page. The low camera angle did me no favors, but I’m studiously not looking at it and trying to focus on the positive, which is that I didn’t have a booger hanging out my nose.

Today's Theme Song

That I Would Be Good

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you