Tony Pickles, Oh Dang!

Anthony has always liked pickles. He used to LOVE pickles to the tune of sneaking entire bottles and finishing them off by drinking the juice but it’s now down to a more reasonable level of a few spears every day or so. He used to walk around with his skin slightly yellow and the scent of parfum de vinaigre in a cloud about him.

Tony's Pickles

He’s graduated his love of pickles to the creation level. He now enjoys making them. We’ve made them a few times over the past couple of years together with a different recipe each time. His favorites are the ones with just dill and garlic. Some of them have been pretty great. In the last batch we threw in half a teaspoon of Peppercorn Mélange which adds a little kick. He wants to create a business and sell them. I tell him, sure. We can do that. And maybe we will.

He’s into art; all kinds. Have you seen his Flash movie? He’s working on a second one with an elaborate storyline of a fallen angel, his best friend and how he gets redemption. The drama gets quite diverse and deep. I think he’s going to be quite a storyteller. We bought him his own art supplies today. He got his first set of acrylics, a mixer tray with attached lidded pots, a 20″x24″ canvas, a brush set, a tiny pink soap and a color wheel.

Tony's First 'Real' Painting

He calls it his first ‘real’ painting. He’s very proud of it. He keeps checking with me to see if I think it’s ‘good’ or how much I think someone might buy it for. I tell him it speaks to me about duality and contrast. Maybe something about keeping things in balance. But that isn’t what he wants to hear so I tell him it’s fantastic and I mean it. I do think it’s fantastic. But I’m his mom, so it doesn’t count. I don’t know how many times since he was much younger that we’ve talked about art and how it’s so subjective and impossible to classify ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and yet that was one of the first questions out of his mouth when he finished. He also has a deep yearning to be famous. I don’t doubt that he will be someday. I just hope it’s for something that is worthwhile and not something he’ll feel bad about later like going on the first reality TV show that comes knocking. I hope he holds out for one that is really awesome like this one.

If I could afford to, I’d buy him a digital camcorder. He loves my phone because of its capability to create small movies. Here is one where he finally got me to smile even though we bet he couldn’t. We were at the track meet last Saturday waiting for his turn to go and run the 100 meter dash. It was a looooooong day. The day that never ended. The day where the parent volunteers kept not showing up at their assigned places and we had to listen to ‘Could the parent volunteers who signed up for the long jump please report for afternoon duty?’ every five minutes. Seriously. Long day. I didn’t feel like smiling, but his awesome finger tricks totally killed and I had no choice.

He likes to do imitations of people and is in a serious Listening to How That Sounds Again, phase. He says the same phrase over and over until he perfects how he wants it to sound or makes the same noise over and over until I think I might need to chop my ears off or until he finally gets it right. Here is an example. Oh, dang, he’s cute.

Reality TV and Other Nonsense with No Segues

I’m hooked on Wife Swap. Holy cow. Watching someone for an hour get dropped into a brand new element to see what happens? People experiments! Yea! Devon and I always make bets on which mom is going to cry first. I can just hear the cackling going on in the board room at the station where they decide which moms trade with whom.

“Hello New Family! I’m from a highly Christian and religious family. You are devil worshippers? Wha…?”

Crying ensues. Don’t they know going in that they are going to get messed over? It’s kind of the point of the show. Watching it reinforces my theory that people just want to stay in their comfort zone, even if it really sucks on many levels, simply because they know it.

And directly afterwards is Super Nanny. I love Jo. She kicks so much butt in so many ways. My kids are way older than the kids they always work with on the show but I don’t care. I tune in to see her mastery anyway but mostly to hear her say, ‘That is not assep’able!’ And this season, she gives out tips! For free! Because, the naughty spot could be here or here or here! It could be everywhere!
Continue reading “Reality TV and Other Nonsense with No Segues”

Overheard

Tony on the phone with his friend, talking about the upcoming History Day assignment:

“Ok, you’re going to be John the Baptist and I’m going to be Jesus.
No, I want to be Jesus.
What do you mean?
But, why would you want to be a Roman god when you could be the real God?
Fine, you be Jesus Christ and I’ll be John.”

History Day

When I was in elementary school, I don’t think we had History Day. At least not like they do now. Last night we went and viewed about 300 exhibits. The quality coming from these 7th graders ranged from a piece of yellow cardboard with a dozen words scrawled in black marker to life size dioramas with an animatronic Rosa parks sitting on the bus. Well, that might be a slight exaggeration. But seriously, I was impressed. The themes that were repeated the most were Rosa Parks, our diminishing rain forest and Hitler’s regime. One smaller exploited theme, that totally wins the tagline contest, was:

Susan B. Anthony
She Punched Her Chad
And They Got Mad.

Oh my gosh. Pure joy in that.

The quality of Tyler’s exhibit fell somewhere in the middle. But I’d have to guess that it was at the top of the quality chart out of the projects with little to no parental interference. The actual-size, hand sewn era dress made out of maroon velvet with satin quilted piping? I’m guessing a parent might have had a little more to do with that one.

As Joe and I walked around, we started looking to see what kids had put in the most work. The results? 90% of the projects that showed work amounting to countless hours invested were female. I know. I know! I sound so sexist! But, are we females really that dang creative? Or is it that we get excited about large projects and want to add little frilly things and hot glue and pipe cleaners and plan it and start working on it starting the first second that becomes available? And fantasize in our heads about how people are just going to love it and it will be the favorite and end up on the Today Show? And, actually, the projects there that were picked to go to the state History Day show, were done by females. Whereas, boys like my son Tyler, are outside playing sports or hanging out with friends and mastering video game levels and only do the project during the last weekend because that is good enough. I realize I’m making some pretty big generalizations here and it isn’t the same all across the board but I have to believe there is something to this. Do girls care more than boys as a general rule? Does that make us care more what people think? Is that why so many women never feel good enough?

TrackMeet

The boys had their first trackmeet last Saturday.

Tony got 1st in the shotput. Dude, he’s got an arm on him.

tony_shotput_8

Ty got 1st in the 100m Dash and his team came in 1st in the 400m relay. Look at that stride!

ty_run_close

More here.

Also at the trackmeet, this guy

maybe

who is either Dane or his twin brother Brando I think. I liked The Upside of Anger.

When You are Working with the Best

Taken from the project outline sheet:

comments – yesh
blockable++
memebers
avatar++
sets++
groups++{many}++contacts
no gallery ceptisle my publizle photizle and loggizle intizzle da websizzle

Unrelated Ramblings

We bought an almost 20-year-old Volvo today. While Alison* and I were waiting in the gentleman’s living room for him to get some of the paperwork together, I glanced up to a shelf along the far wall. In the center spot, which is normally reserved for a trophy, your child’s gilded shoe or photo of Aunt Matilda, there was a wilted cardboard box with bold, black lettering on the side. It read:

FRESH
CURLS
POO.

Well, once I’ve seen a thing, I can’t just unsee it. So I had to keep looking at it and trying not to giggle. Then I mouthed it to Alison when the guy’s back was to me and pointed and waved at the box. And then I felt 13, hormonal, and begged myself to stop, but did I? No. I never listen. Instead, I drove myself crazy with the idea of blurting it out loud to the man. ‘FRESH CURLS POO?? Really?? Your CURLS are FRESH and POO? POO?’ At which point I realized I no longer felt 13. No, I felt 3 with a major chance at ruining my perfect potty-training chart with a sad, empty spot sans sticker for today if I didn’t get it under control. And so I did get it under control. But as soon as we left and had the chance, we both looked at each other and laughed and yelled out loud. It was almost a Laverne & Shirley moment.

On the way home, the bumper sticker of the car in front of me said:

Bringing Friends and Fun Together.
Square Dancing = FUN.

I don’t think I have much to say about that except – ok.

The Office is one of my favorite shows. I love the BBC version as well, but the US version has Steve Carell. From last week:

Michael (Steve): We are just going to sit here until someone comes forward or you are all under punishment.
Pam: What kind of punishment?
Michael: Time Out! You’re all in time out!

My son worked on the LAB portion of his science report over the weekend. His idea = pit a mouse and rat against each other in a race for food and see which one is faster. The twist? First train them both to recognize a color and link it to food intake. He created a maze (and I use the term maze loosely because it was in essence a large box with four horse stalls on one end) and put large swatches of color at the end of each of them. The problem? He didn’t take the time to color-train them, which may be fine because I don’t think they are color-trainable due to the fact that rodents are color blind. He wanted to do a week’s worth of races, one per day, which became seven races in one day which became three races in one hour which finally became no races of any kind and more of a food-fest where the rodents hung out in the middle of the box and ate sunflower seeds, peanut butter and cheese together while speaking of politics and religion. After watching them gorge themselves, my son decided to just make up the results and call it a day. If I was one of those conscientious parents, I would have made sure he actually did the science experiment the way he had originally outlined and told him under no circumstances could he just make up the results. And when I mentioned that to him, he calmly told me that science is not, in fact, facts but more hypotheses and conclusions. I just hope his teacher takes that in to account when she reads his conclusion that the rat was trained better to the red color than the mouse was, thereby making him the winner of the race tourney. His graphs turned out fantastic.

*Go listen to Alison’s new song, A Boy and a Bird.

On the Phone

“Mommy, her house is on Bank Street. And since you always get lost and blame it on me and say I didn’t say it right, I’m going to spell it out for you. Ready? B as in Boy, A as in Apple, N as in ……. Gnome, and K as in …………….Cool but like the really cool people spell it.”

Catch-up

I had a birthday. I’m now on the far side of 30 if you round up by fives which makes me practically 40 and everyone knows that means I’m almost 50 and having a midlife crisis very soon but only if I live to be 100 and if I happen to kick the bucket at age 80 then I might already be too late to have one. Crap.

shopping_girls_2

I took Alex to Leavenworth, Washington for the weekend. We met my sister and her daughter up there and had an all girls weekend. We stayed in the Bridal Suite at the Enzian. The room had a jacuzzi and a mirror on the ceiling above the bed. We did all kinds of girl things the entire time and it was mui mui fun. My favorite parts: the Alpen Horn player in his lederhosen, Dave, owner of the Mozart Cafe who talked to us at length about his chef and the quality of soup and how being surprised with your meal is not a good thing, the beautiful snowy mountains, Alex, Rhoda and Elle and Rhoda’s family and Jens playing guitar. Did I mention it was beautiful? And, Alex again.