Category: blessings

From a new friend I met yesterday:

‘Sometimes in our lives, we get scared at what’s next for us. So, when you get to the edge of everything you know, when all the familiar is behind you, look forward into the dark unknown and jump. Either a net will catch you or you’ll find you have wings and fly.’

in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama.

My favorites:

3. Follow the three Rules: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

discouragement seems to be hanging ’bout my head like a wreath.
not sure what it’s about.
but there it is still.
just there.
see it?
huh.
me neither.
i can’t ever see it exactly.
i just know it’s there.
a feeling.

when life is actually fine.
when things are going great.
and there is nothing to complain about.
per se.
nothing to complain about that one could do anything about.
at least.

it’s a fine day with a damp cloud overhead.
it’s a beautiful beach with a rotten smell blowing in.

just like my favorite pants that i accidently ripped-
i wear them anyway.
lp

The doctors have decided that Rhoda’s growth is benign. But they want to remove it tomorrow anyway.

The Writer’s Monthly Anti-Social is this weekend. I’m point man for the first time. I also signed on to be an assistant editor.

Got a raise at work last week. Awes.

I’m really REALLY glad I got out of the loan business. I love what I do.

Almost done sprucing up the house.

Things are good.

I love my life.

Everything is a blessing.

I had the kids last weekend. It was fan-tab-you-lous!!
Things at work have been hectic. 12 hour work days.
Sometimes I’m so tired I could spit.
Sometimes I do.
New house is still full of boxes
I want to paint but feel guilty painting when there are more boxes to go through.
Instead of painting I watch tv and feel guilty or go to sleep early.
My sister recently dropped from a size 18 to an 8. I hear she looks fabulous. Good on her.
My parents are back home and off of the mission they were on in Salt Lake City, Utah.
It’s nice to think of them back in the house I grew up in.
My son, my little guy, has decided to get baptized.
The money I earn seems to be in direct proportion to how much people want from me.
My money situation never seems to get much better.
Somehow, someway, I manage to feel happy and fulfilled the majority of the time.
God loves me.
Everything is a blessing.

quick recap for the kids:
so good to see you, so good to see you, so good to see you, working a lot, sometimes some drool flies out of my mouth,(just kidding…it’s just an expression), still not unpacked from the move all the way, haven’t played with my paints yet, aunt rhoda looks great, grandma and grandpa are home again, congrats to you anthony, we won’t be going on any spending sprees anytime soon. so much love, XOXOXO

Things are good. I’m learning all kinds of important lessons. I love learning new things.

My kids were here for the weekend. We had a great time. It’s always so wonderful to be with them. They are growing up so fast and there is never enough time to go around. But on the positive, they have a stable environment, a good dad and step mom, a home to live in and enough for their needs. They have a large family support system on both sides. And me. So I know that God is blessing them and all of us. I’m content with that even if there are never enough moments to grab hugs…..

Last night I went to see the roller coasterin Belmont Park at Mission Beach. I’ve never been there before. Weird, eh? But true. Joe and I played air hockey, walked around and talked and listened to a really bad band for about 3 minutes. I got a silver keychain with my name on it. I’ve never had a keychain with my name on it before. They don’t usually have my name or it’s spelled wrong….
Then we drove around and Joe told me a little more about his life. I love getting to know him deeper.

My column is up.
I also got the job working for North magazine. I’ll be taking photos for them and a column is soon to follow. Hopefully things will go better monetarily sooner rather than later.

Still looking for a new space to live and looking for someone to move in here. Keep your fingers crossed for me….

quick recap for the kids:
tony, the tape you made was so fun, thank you for that and for adding that last little line about ‘back–sassing’ for me before you left. ty, i had fun painting your friends skate board for you and i hope he liked it, i also want to plan to get more hugs from you next time. ali, please don’t feel bad too long about the three hours spent elsewhere, we’ll get more snuggles and girl talk next time. dev, have i mentioned i’m proud of you? let’s work on going together to the gaming conference. to all of you, remember the compliments/insults discussion and conduct yourselves accordingly. (don’t seek the treaayshuuuure….)
SO much love,
mom

I have so much to be thankful for this year. My life couldn’t be any more different than it was last year. I look around me at my beautiful children, this great place I live, awesome roommates, satisfying employment, sane piece of mind and a relationship with a man that I love more than I would have thought possible and I can’t believe my luck. Or blessings would be a more accurate term.

This coming year holds just as many exciting possibilities for me. I can feel it. Things are just going to keep feeling and getting better. Even if/when hard things come up, I have a much more stable foundation to work from. I’m sure with God’s help I’ll be able to keep tackling new challenges.

Christmas was wonderful. It was so nice to be able to take the kids to help out people this season instead of concentrating on the ‘I wants’. They’ve each surprised me in how quickly they caught on to the whole idea of giving and helping and took pleasure in the whole experience. I hope it’s a tradition we can keep doing every holiday I have with them.

It was very nice to have Joe around this year. The kids are getting used to him and notice that he is nice to me. They’ve each told me how much they are glad that he’s a ‘nice guy that makes you so happy’. It must be hard to be the guy getting to know the kids of the girl you like. I’m thankful that they all seem to get along alright.

Judging. It’s a hard thing not to do, especially when the lines of acceptable judging are blurred. FOr example, as a parent I feel I have every right to judge what I think is good or bad for my young kids. Isn’t that my job as a mother? Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? But where is the line drawn in between watching out for your kids and stamping your personal thoughts all over where they should be finding things out for themselves? And if you spend all your time deciding what is right for them, when and how do they learn to do it for themselves? And if I’m constantly judging things in that frame of mind, how do I let that go and just accept people for who and what they are instead of categorizing everything into the acceptable and unacceptable boxes? It’s a quandary.

quick recap for the kids:
it’s been so great to have you in my daily life this christmas, i look forward to seeing you a little more this coming year, still like tons of things about joe, the lines between things are hard to make out but i’m going to keep figuring things out..
much love,
mom

Life is strange. Period. The end.

But I like it. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

It’s nice to know that things keep evolving into (hopefully) something better. It’s very nice to have things move up a few notches and further away from when they were so uncomfortable.

I’m going to get paid. Finally. Of course it won’t be till after Christmas but just the fact that I’m going to be able to pay my rent by my own volition is very appealing to me. (and my room mate Craig as well, I’m sure, since he likes to have me pay rent…and my family since they’ve been paying it for me….etc. etc.) We’re all happy about my rent-paying abilities.

I’m starting to feel some Christmas spirit. It crept in while I wasn’t looking and I’m glad it’s here. I compare last year’s end to this one and I feel so blessed I’m almost overwhelmed. It doesn’t seem possible that my life could have changed so drastically in just one year. I don’t think I could even name all the good things in my life. Monetarily challenged or not, it’s going to be a great season.

quick recap for the kids
life is unpredictable, sometimes scary, wonderful and constantly changing, i’m going to get my first paycheck in a few weeks, Christmas is almost here, my life is awesome and full of good things. (especially you…)
love,
mom

When did I turn into a ma’am? Last time I checked the mirror I swear I was only 19 or so…..
But somehow, I’ve traveled over that bridge (or murky swamp) into adulthood. Gee, it took me long enough to figure that out since really I’m almost 32 and my oldest child is starting high school next year.
But still, it takes me by surprise when the bagger at the grocery store calls me ma’am.
Remember when you were the cool young person at the family reunion? One of the cool people, along with the other cool teenagers in the family….so cool it was hard to even stay in the same room with the old fogies or the stupid young children……so cool you had to even look cool while you slept on the living room floor in the sleeping bag just in case one of the older cool cousins brought home a cute friend of the opposite sex….so cool you couldn’t possibly take part in the talent show without making fun of yourself and everyone else…..so cool you had to make up stories of how un-cool your parents were just to compete with the other made up stories your cousins had…..so cool you would stay lonely out side and peel bark off twigs instead of go inside and play cards with your grandparents even though you wished you did.

Now I’m the ‘old people’ but not the ‘really old people’ since my parents are still alive. But as soon as they go, I’m going to be moving up to that station. I just hope it’s a long time coming. Not just cuz I don’t want to be a ‘really old person’ but because I actually like them and would like to have more time with them. And I want to force my kids to take part in the talent show in front of my parents and cousins even though they make fun of me and themselves. And when I see my kids peeling bark I’ll leave them alone after asking them a mere 20 times to come in and hang out with me and those other un-cool old people. And I hope my kids have some really awful stories to compete with their cousins about how mean I am (even if they are mostly true, in their case….) because I do love them and insist that they tell me where they are and when they’ll be home and who they’ll be with……

I learned something else tonight. Again. (I seem to learn the same things over and over again…..what’s up with that??)
And this is what it is: It feels like life sucks most of the time but it actually doesn’t. It’s just that the really sucky parts tend to stick out the most in my mind when the are happening. But really, the good far outweighs the bad and I know that. I just have a hard time remembering when it feels like it sucks. But I’m working on that.

quick recap for the kids:
your mom is older than she thought but probably not as old as you think she is, the sentimentality factor is strong tonight and i’m rambling about family and reunions and other stuff that make your mind buzz into outer space, life doesn’t really suck it just feels like it alot. and i love you tons.

I’m finding I love my life right now. It’s kind of amazing.

Yes, I love my life. This is a new thing for me.

Of course there are things I would change if I could, like, seeing my kids more often and having less stress at work, but all in all I feel very blessed, cared for and looked after.

I have so many things to be grateful for that I wouldn’t even know where to start if someone wanted an itemized list.

My stuff from storage will be here on Sunday. I’m excited to see all my old crap again. It’s my crap. I’ve missed it.

I had a tense moment at work today and pulled through all right. I’m proud of myself. I like feeling proud of myself. I hope it happens more often. I like having skills to fall back on.

I heard an old friend on the phone this afternoon and a whole slew of old feelings washed over me. I’m still trying to sort that one out.

My new site, www.leahpeah.com , which name has been derived from an old taunt from elementary school days, is up and running files from my old site www.passepar2.com . The site has a whole new look thanx to my good friend Joseph Crawford. Check it out.

quick recap for the kids:
i like my life, things aren’t perfect but that’s ok, too, counting my blessings, will have too many books and art crap around the house again soon, work has it’s challenging moments but i’m not falling apart and i like that, still in contact with old friends, old nicknames can be put to use later in life so thank those bullies.
much love,
mom