Went to a book signing with Joe last night at Mysterious Galaxy. With the exception of my editor who works there part time, the staff seriously lacks in customer service skills.
Bruce Sterling was there reading from his new book Zenith Angle. Sadly, the entire time I was captivated by a guy standing about 2 feet in front of me and slightly to the right. He stood at parade rest giving his full attention to Mr. Sterling. And then he picked his underwear out of his butt. Then he went back into parade rest. Next, he scraped his fingers along his scalp and down to the ends of his hair removing what I can only hope was some kind of hair product. Then he went back to parade rest. Next it was his ankles popped in turn by cocking one leg behind the other and swiftly cranking it to the side. It resembled a wet cat trying to shake its hind legs dry. And then, again, parade rest. Next he attacked the acne on his face. Parade rest. Dug in his ears with his pinkie. Parade rest. At which point I left to go outside and get some air. I couldn’t hear Bruce anyway. I was too caught up in trying not to vomit. And since his nose was really the only orifice left, I didn’t want to stick around to see it. Can you get better than science fiction?