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From the girl that brought you an actual case of Cat Scratch Fever, or La maladie des griffes de chat in French where it was first tested, I now bring you Sick Bones.

So, it went down like this:

I got the flu
and then my lung hurt,
and then i couldn’t breathe.

At the hospital:

noticed swelling that I thought was due to my underwire bra. Ha. Not even.
listened to my heart, which was normal
felt my pulse, which was normal
they did a EKG, which was normal
touched me on my ribs under my breast near my heart, decided it was not normal when I tried to fly off the table and almost reflex-punched her.
Ordered an x-ray of my chest, came back normal besides the small pocket of air around my heart and about 40 staples that are imbedded under my right arm from the Cat Scratch Fever episode mentioned earlier, where the doctors removed a large plum-sized lymph node and stapled me back together. Hello!

Ok, I guess the staples are normal, but I don’t know how I feel about having shards of metal inside me. What about the metal detectors at the airport??

And the diagnosis: my ribs were sick. They had caught a virus. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t heard of it before and it sounds like a fake disease….I got it.

Oh, yes. And for you non believers, Cat Scratch Fever IS more than just a song….it’s a real disease

Some of the lyrics to Ted’s song are an out right lie:

I feel no pain

And some are right on:

You know you got it
When you’re goin’ insane
It makes a grown *[woman] cry, cry
*liberties taken by this author

Other news:

Working on a speech coming in January about spending time with your kids and cherishing every second. I think I’ve learned a thing or two about that over the past year or so…

Work is good. Almost done with the site re-design for GTI.

Going to have my kids for an entire week starting the 25th. Can’t WAIT.

Working on a painting for my old boss, Teresa. She has been uber-patient.

Learning more about Christ/God.

Loving Mary, Jesus’ mother.

Working on a book proposal for a grant.

That’s about it.

–the end–

Friday: Had no desire to dress up due to dressing up the day before for work. Not in a festive mood. Missed my kids. Stayed in and went to bed early.

Saturday: Went to Barbara, my homeopath, and admitted to having an unhealthy week prior, took a nap, took the rent to our landlord with Joe. Surprise to me: he lives in Scripps Ranch. I didn’t even know to be worried about him during the fires. Thankfully, his house escaped major damage unlike four other people down the street from him who lost everything. Went to the opening at The Grove in South Park. Maybe someday my own book will be in there.

Sunday: got my car detailed for the first time ever. And I mean ever. The evening ended in vomit. And I mean vomit. Joe cleaned up after me. It must be true love.

Monday: Slept until 2ish. Toilet overflowed. And I mean OVERFLOWED. Showered and felt a bit better. Took the 14 towels it took to clean up the floor to the laundry mat where I witnessed:

1 small dog on a leash.
2 street walkers wearing not much more than spiked black boots get taken in by the cops.
3 crying babies.
4 couples, 2 gay, 2 straight, all showing their mate love.
12 roses fall to the floor along with a blue vase that shattered to a million pieces.

I’m home now and tired.
Tomorrow I’m going to feel better.
Tomorrow I’m going to kick ass.
Tomorrow my week starts for reals.

quick recap for the kids:
when you grow up and dress yourself in the morning, please understand that a shredded black t-shirt, black thong underwear and 5 inch spike heals does not an outfit make, missed you halloween night, wished i could have seen you in your costumes, you will NOT believe what my car looks like, i’m not sick anymore and sometimes, even when you are as old as me, you still need someone else to take care of you when you get sick.

Update:
In a shocking comeback, Joe and Leah actually scored one for their team.

And it was shocking. I hate the fact that we have to kill these little creatures. It was very unsettling to hear the trap go off and then see a tiny, little furry mouse dead. He could have been a pet for one of my kids a few years ago. (now he’d prolly just be the food for my son’s snake…but anyway…)We set the traps on purpose to get a mouse. But it was sad to actually kill one. I feel like a murderer. Ok, maybe that’s over the top. I feel like a ‘not nice’ person.

On the other hand, tiny mouse footprints through my kitchen do not a happy Joe and Leah make.

Sometimes the necessary thing is the sad thing.

Have a safe Halloween.

Just thought I’d let you know that all is well with our mouse, Stuart. We fed him well last night. We left him not one, but two little cheese meals. It doesn’t matter that they were attatched to little death traps. He ate like a king.

He is very clever.

I’m done feeling generous of spirit.
I’m not going to try to entice him into a little rodent condo so I can help him relocate any longer. He has only scoffed at our offering.

He won this last round.
But just wait, Stuart.
Just wait.
Now it’s personal.

I spent the weekend with my kids in Moorpark and Thousand Oaks area.

It was a strange weekend. The sun was red. There were clouds of smoke and an amber skywith small flakes of ash falling through the air like snow. We wern’t sure what to do with ourselves besides hang out at the hotel. When it came time to check out, we went to the mall to spend our last hours of the weekend together. I kept wishing I could bring them home with me to San Diego away from the fire which was burning about a mile away from their home. I had no idea what was going on so close to my own house.

I went against every motherly instinct in my body and drove them to their home, closer to the fire, dropped them off and left to get home. Freeways were closed. People were evacuating. It felt like a war was on. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Of course, it took longer that usual. People leaving their homes jamming one side of the freeway. People going into to gawk filled the other side.

Needless to say, we have our own tragedies going on here.

My office was closed today per the Mayor’s request so I didn’t go out all day besides hitting the corner store this evening. Joe went in this morning and took some photos of downtown.

My heart and prayers go out to the many thousands of people who are homeless and have lost everything but their lives.

God Bless.
lp

new outlook in life!

well, not really.
but i’m a cuter version of my hair than i was on tuesday.
and my nails are long. manicured. plastic painted. identical to one another.
do i like having a part of myself completely foreign yet attached?
is this what it feels like to have fake boobs?
is this what it feels like to be darth vader?
(leah, that was a tad drastic, don’t you think?)

my hair? well, you’ll just have to wait and see.
new photo of it tomorrow.

and as for my outlook:
the old one is just fine, thank you very much.

quick recap for the kids:
this weekend is only mere hours away, check the mail tomorrow.
you are the most awesomest kids EVER.
and i mean that.
not even kidding.
just don’t bring the whoopee-cushions back to my house.

this weekend is the yardsale. come over and buy some really great crap we want to unload! most stuff is only $1 !! it’s going to be awesome!!

alright. i hope that will do because i’m all out of enthusiasm. mostly because i like to sleep in and 7 am? ?what was i thinking??

very tired. my life is a cycle of sleeping, driving, working, driving, sleeping.

i’m hanging in there.
hope you are too.

oh ya, shwatrzenegger shorstinnager arnold won?
i’m so glad i’m not in 3rd grade. i’d have nightmares from trying to spell his name.

quick recap for the kids:

hold your heads up high. if arnold s. can do it, you can do anything!

We had a wonderful party the other night. So many good friends were there and I met some new good friends as well.

We had a group painting that I’m going to finish up with Joe and then hang. Many people contributed and it looks great.

Some people left really nice thoughts in a book for Joe and I. Margot and Charles took some photos for us that will be up soon. Thanx, guys.

I feel fortunate to know so many wonderful people.

I feel a bit wonky today. A little under the weather. I hope it passes quickly.

I get to see my kids this weekend, my parents as well and possibly my sister and her husband. Joe and I are going to see Maroon5 on Thursday night. They have a great sound that I can’t stop listening to.

XOXOXO