EDGY, WHOLESOME
Our cat is by far the coolest cat ever.
I took some photos of Bas. The light was poor. I’m going to take some more soon during the day so you can see his incredible eyes.
He likes to give hugs by wrapping his paws around you and kiss your nose.
He tries to pet you back.
Still a little skittish when we stand up or move too quick, but he’s getting used to us.
I don’t know about you” is a game I play with my kids. I don’t feel like I ever see enough of them and I know I miss out on so much. I want to know every little detail. Or at least what they can remember to tell me.
A few things I learned this past week:
Devon hates high school except for journalism club.
Alex loves her math class because her teacher rocks.
Ty didn’t know that pickles were made from cukes.
Anthony doesn’t like Jade anymore.
“Mom. Tell us something we don’t know about you.” asks Alex.
And just when I begin formulating something to say, Ty interrupts with, “Who was your first kiss? How old were you?” And Tony asks, ‘And who was your first boyfriend that you went on a date-date with?” And Devon asks, “And when was the first time you slow danced? *Really* slow danced?”
All of a sudden I realized the danger that this game holds when you have the liberty to ask pointed questions. I would have preferred to tell them something they didn’t know like, “I had cereal every single morning last week.” or “I’ve discovered that the Oxy cleaning product really does get the whites whiter.”
Instead, I told them, “My first real kiss was with a boy named Todd who was two years older than me and two inches shorter. He had lots of curly blond hair and he told me my eyelashes were as long as butterfly wings. He cleaned up at the slaughter house so he smelled sickly like warm, fresh beef and was the brother of one of my best friends. I was in 8th grade. We didn’t talk to each other for a few weeks after the kiss and then became good friends again.” That answer seemed to please them immensely.
Recap:
Monday: insane work day
Tuesday: kids came
Wednesday: shopping
Thursday: dinner with Joe’s family
Friday: sunset cliffs walk, family dinner
Saturday: movies
Sunday: swap meet
Also: 3 interviews with photo shoots, 1 pair of black pants lost on the freeway, sprained ankle, laundry, yellow flowers in a vase, a poinsettia and compliments on the kids’ behavior when I�m not around.
Monday: back to work for a short day, kids going home tonight, picking up Leo our adopted cat.
I’m amazed that new weeks always begin again. It’s like on Sunday I think maybe the day will last forever. I fall asleep hoping that the night will keep stretching and stretching. But then the alarm rings and it’s Monday morning and I think, ‘Hey. It’s Monday again? How does this keep happening??’
The weekend was packed full and wonderful. I went to my first Mass at the church where both Joe and his mom were baptized. (There was a Mariachi band!) I made a rosary out of coral and turquoise and had it blessed by Father Brown who wore a green felt European flavored hat home after the meeting ended. He took the rosary, prayed over it and dowsed it in Holy Water. Then, for good measure, he dowsed me and Phyllis, Joe’s mom, with a healthy helping of Holy Water as well. I had a mini baptism my very first time at a Catholic church. Joe’s grandmother told me, ‘You may be the only Mormon girl that made her own rosary.’ She might be right. But I’m not really Mormon. And I’m not really Catholic. I don’t know what I am besides me. That’s what I’ve always been.
On the books for this week:
Family and more family. Some work thrown in. Mostly fun.
Trying to enjoy every minute.
I’m still,
leahpeah.
In the store yesterday getting ‘green juice’ and goat cheese for lunch. (makes your stomach yearn, doesn’t it?)
Standing behind a young mom with her toddler in the cart.
He looks at me.
I look at him.
‘Boon!’ he says and thrusts his slobbery fist towards me, clutching the string that is attached to a yellow balloon.
I smile.
‘Balloon.’ I say.
His mom turns to me and gives me a shy smile and then gets busy writing out her check.
‘BOON!’ he yells at me.
‘Balloon.’ I say back to him.
He sits back in his little wire chariot and nods his head.
I swear I could hear him thinking:
‘Good job, old lady. Good job. That’s right: balloon.’
If I keep it up I might be in the ‘smart kids’ reading group at school.
Over my lunch break, I like to read what’s going on in the world. I’ll munch on some salad or goat cheese with celery and learn that there was a huge pudding spill or that a guy won the contest but then died, or that there are some people as dumb as this guy but how dumb do the cops feel that can’t find him?
And then there will be a story like this: face transplants.
Oh ya. That’s why I read the news….
Subject: FLY ALASKA AIR
Before takeoff…………….
“Hello, and welcome to Alaska Flight 438 to San Francisco. If you’re going to San Francisco, you’re in the right place. If you’re not going to San Francisco, you’re about to have a really long evening.
“We’d like to tell you now about some important safety features of this Aircraft. The most important safety feature we have aboard this plane is… The Flight Attendants. Please look at one now.
“There are 5 exits aboard this plane: 2 at the front, 2 over the wings, and one out the plane’s rear end. If you’re seated in one of the exit rows, please do not store your bags by your feet. That would be a really bad idea. Please take a moment and look around and find the nearest exit. Count the rows of seats between you and the exit. In the event that the need arises to find one, trust me, you’ll be glad you did. We have pretty blinking lights on the floor that will blink in the direction of the exits. White ones along the normal rows, and pretty Red ones at the exit rows.
“In the event of a loss of cabin pressure these baggy things will drop down over your head. You stick it over your nose and mouth like the Flight attendant is doing now. The bag won’t inflate, but there’s Oxygen there, promise. If you are sitting next to a small child, or someone who is acting like a small child, please do us all a favor and put on your mask first. If you are traveling with two or more children, please take a moment now to decide which one is your favorite. Help that one-first, and then work your way down.
“In the seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet about the safety features of this plane. I usually use it as a fan when I’m having my own personal summer. It makes a very good fan. It also has pretty pictures. Please take it out and play with it now.
“Please take a moment now to make sure your seat belts are fastened low and tight about your waist. To fasten the belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle. To release, it’s a pulley thing — not a pushy thing like your car because you’re in an airplane — HELLOOO!!
“There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we provide. There are two smoking sections on this flight, one outside each wing exit. We do have a movie in the smoking sections tonight … hold on, let me check what it is … Oh here it is; the movie tonight is ‘Gone with the Wind.’
“In a moment we will be turning off the cabin lights, and it’s going to get really dark, really fast. If you’re afraid of the dark, now would be a good time to reach up and press the yellow button. The yellow button turns on your reading light. Please don’t press the orange button unless you absolutely have to. The orange button is your seat ejection button.
“We’re glad to have you with us on board this flight. Thank you for choosing Alaska Air, and giving us your business and your money. If there’s anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please don’t hesitate to ask. “If you all weren’t strapped down you would have given me standing ovation, wouldn’t you?”
After landing…
“Welcome to the San Francisco International Airport. Sorry about the bumpy landing. It’s not the captain’s fault. It’s not the copilot’s fault. It’s the asphalt. Please remain seated until the plane is parked at the gate. At no time in history has a passenger beaten a plane to the gate. So please don’t even try. Please be careful opening the overhead bins because ‘shift happens.'”
Forwarded from a co-worker.
Thanx for the laugh, Michelle.
I have lost one hour and 23 minutes of my life that I can never get back again.
I watched Nelly pick the girl he gets to shag whenever he wants a.k.a. the new Apple Bottoms model and then watched the first part of the Hilton Sisters Bio until Joe turned off the tv in disgust.
Well, the draw is obvious, isn’t it? I have an Apple Bottom myself. My hair is long and blond and I never know what to do with my millions and kazillions of dollars…..
But I can never get that time back.
Now, you just sit there and think about that.
Very funny from Defective Yeti: What Is The Matrwich?
I like this site: The Shy Stick Insect Hunter. He’s nutty.
Did some work on the photos page.
House warming party a few months ago.
Some sunsets I had hanging around.
Joe at Zac’s baptism.
And, of course, the date with Joe last Saturday Night.
We had a fun date in the gaslamp.
We went to see Intolerable Cruelty.
We bought moravian starpaper lanters.
We had dessert first.
We walked around.
We ate dinner.
We talked.
I liked it very much.
I got out of the car carefully, looking for traffic that might be coming and could take my door off. At the first open opportunity, I leapt from the car, slammed the door shut and rounded the side of my Escort to the back where I hit the curb with my right foot and smacked the pavement.
After inspecting my jeans for a tear, (none, thankfully) I hear a voice behind me.
Him: Looks like you fell.
Me: Duh! (just kidding…that was in my head)
Me for reals: Ya. *Stupid laugh*
Him: Um…you ok?
Me: Ya. *stupid laugh encore*
Him: Nothing broken? Twisted?
Me: Nope. I’m fine. Thanx.
Him: Do you want a massage? I’ll do more than your feet.
Me: ……
I open the front passenger door from the sidewalk where it’s safe from scary drivers but not from weird people and get out the coat I’m dropping off at the dry cleaners. I ignore him and start to walk away.
Him: Hey. What’s your name?
Me: I’m not telling you my name. (mumbled to the air in front of me)
Him: What? I couldn’t hear you.
Me: I’m not telling you my name!
Him: Oh. Ok.
A block later, when I get to the dry cleaners, he’s no where to be seen. I glanced over my shoulder just to be sure.
The man in the dry cleaners takes the coat.
Him: Very nice coat!
Me: Thanx. It’s my boyfriends.
Him: It don’t look dirty. Why you want it clean? Bad smell? (sniffs coat and shrugs shoulders)
Me: No. Not a bad smell. *stupid laugh act three* I was sick a few days ago. The coat was hanging up on a hook. I vomited so hard that it splashed off the floor and up on the coat. I told my boyfriend I would get it cleaned for him.
Him: Ok. I see. (big smile)
I took the receipt and headed for the door. He hurried to open the door for me. I thanked him, walked out and turned to wave goodbye and almost hit him in the head with my hand. He was walking with me.
Him: Where your car?
Me: Um…down there. (pointing indiscriminately down the block) Thanx again. (walking faster)
Him: (keeping pace with me) You no really have boyfriend.
Me: Yes. I do.
Him: Right now?
Me: Yes. Right this very minute.
Him: You sure you do? I like to date you.
Me: Yes. Really. I do. Thanx. Bye. (speed walking past my car and heading for the nail place)
Him: You come back Whezday. We talk about date then.
Me: No. I have a boyfriend. No.
He opens the door of the store for me and I walk in.
Him: Well, you pretty but you don’t want love I can’t make you.
He turned and walked back up the block to the dry cleaners.
45 minutes later I emerged with unplanned but freshly pedicured feet in neon yellow foam slippers and tried to get in the wrong car, setting off the alarm. Thankfully, there were no men around to fall prey to my feminine whiles that time.
Moral of the story:
There are no stronger aphrodisiacs than tripping in public and vomit.
At dinner last night the menu included this:
Admiral’s Feast
A luscious platter of shrimp, scallops, clam strips and fish fillets delicately fried to perfection.
suggested beverage, bud light