I'm sorry, Mr. H.

I’ve been obsessing about something for the past few months/years. It keeps me up at night and reminds me that I’m an idiot on so many levels. It peeks it’s head around the corner and tells me the best idea is to go to bed, tuck the covers around the shape of my body, and lay like a mummy for the next two years because I suck suck SUCK. In order to put it back into perspective and quit giving it so much power, I decided to write about it.

A year and a half or so ago, I did an interview with Matt Haughey. I was so happy that he decided to answer my questions. I was ecstatic that he had even answered my email. About that same time, I took some classes at the local college.

Now, sometimes it takes 2 days to get the answers to my questions back from someone and sometimes it takes weeks or months. It doesn’t really matter to me, as long as they are still having fun. And I don’t remember how long it took for him to send me back his stuff. That part is irrelevant. I do know it coincided with schoolwork. And the part that keeps replaying in my mind is where he offered to rewrite his bio.

Now, he’s a kick-ass kind of guy and it’s not the worst thing to have him write his own bio. When I looked at the email, he had indeed written a fine intro. Mine was incomplete and not anywhere done yet. He knew himself better than I knew him and there it was, already written and pretty. And I had tests to study for and homework to do. And so I just copied and pasted and shut the lid on it. And ever since then, I have hated the fact that I didn’t finish it. That he felt like he needed to write it for me. And that I didn’t take some kind of pro-active role in writing a great bio-intro that used what he sent but was also my own.

This might be just some kind of weird obsessive compulsive thing or I might be being totally a tardhead. Or it might be valid to want all your work to be your own. And it might be mostly about doing a great job instead of a half-assed one even when you have homework.

So, anyway, I’m sorry, Mr. H. It’s possible that you hardly remember this interview, if at all, but the apologizing is always mostly for the sender and not the receiver anyway. I think you are the Rad and thank you for doing the interview with me and next time, I’ll write such a crazy-ass-cool-bio-intro, you won’t even believe it.

lpc