Running toilet.
Leaking roof/ceiling.
Incessantly meowing cat.
A week with intermittent internet service — mostly out.
Along those lines, I called the cable company last night.
If you’d like to hear this message in blah-blah-blah.
If you’re calling about a virus in your computer blah-blah-blah.
If you’re calling about the Mormon Conference blah-blah-blah. (?)
me: Hi we’re calling again about the internet being out. Is there something going on this past week?
him: And you are….? Is your name on the account? You aren’t Joe, right?
me: Nope. I’m —
him: Is this Jennifer?
me: Nope. That is his ex-wife.
him: Yikes. Sorry.
(under his breath: ya…this is going REALLY well…)
me: No. It’s fine, really.
him: Well, let me see here. It looks like everything is fine in your area.
me: Um, well, the thing is…for the past week it’s been on and off….mostly off.
him: Huh. As I look at it, it looks like one out of every 10 people in your area is having problems.
me: What does that mean?
him: It means you’re one of the unlucky ones.
me: No. I mean, has something changed? New lines put in or something?
him: I don’t know about that kind of technical stuff. I just work behind the desk.