Phew

Quite a week, duckies. Quite a week. Not a lot to say about it, as it’s too fresh and raw but perhaps soon.

Last weekend in Santa Barbara, my sister and I had a couple of great conversations about God. If you recall, I was worried about telling her how much my idea of a higher power differed from hers. Religion being what it is in my family, my fears weren’t unfounded. However, we had no problem understanding each other and really, at the base, our beliefs are quite similar. It’s just when you get to the organized religion part that we really start to differ. I have a huge issue with the Joseph Smith story and depending on others for the power of the priesthood. I have huge issues with Jesus Christ dying for my sins when I had no say in the matter and being indebted to him for eternity because it makes so much more sense to me if we are all accountable for our own sins and not laying them at the feet of someone else. I don’t believe it’s possible.

However, I do believe in spiritual power and I feel it all the time. I felt it in the Mormon church and I’ve felt it at the Catholic church and outside in nature and at home. I also believe in the principle of supporting the needy with our own resources. I have no doubt that parts of every religion have some good and I firmly believe that not any of them hold the one and only sure way to heaven.

I believe you can be a good person, a great person and not believe in any specific higher power. I’ve met many. The argument that you must be a Christan or God-Fearing person to be a good person makes no sense to me. Living a life of fear and doing things because you are afraid or storing up blessings in the afterlife does not make you a good person. I believe you really have to do things because you love. Love for yourself. Love for others. Being kind and loving is not the same thing as being a Christian, although they can both reside in the same person and do often.

I believe it doesn’t matter which religion you belong to or if you belong to one at all. Every single one thinks they are right, clear down to their bones and with equal passion. If you are a Catholic and join another church, your family will be praying for your eternal salvation until you come back into the fold. They will mourn your apostasy and pray to their version of God to save you and bring you back. The same for the Mormons. The same for them all.

When I see an organized religion that says, with all honesty, they don’t care if you join them or not and they think it doesn’t matter which one you belong to and they are there mostly for community reasons of support and not because of some special keys or promises or other thing that only they have, then I might think about joining them. But only because it’s nice to be around people sometimes and I could use the friends. I won’t be there because I think they hold all the answers.

I have no idea if there is an afterlife and I don’t care. I tend to think there is something but I have no issue with not understanding it right now. Why would I want to? I’ve got all I can handle in the present. It’s enough to feel the loving energy surrounding me and the knowledge that I’m not alone. I’m held up with light anytime I need it or ask for it. I know I’m loved just like every other being on the planet is loved.

I know my life is being guided just like everyone else’s is. I know things happen and my job is to adjust to those things, embrace them, accept them and learn from them. And all that can sometimes be hard but it’s always worth it and it helps if you can keep your sense of humor. I believe that sometimes hard or terrible things happen and it has nothing to do with what I did or didn’t do. The Universe unfolds as it is supposed to and all my hemming, hawing, praying, wailing, praising and praying won’t change it a darn bit. And that’s alright, too. But the more I accept things as they really are and accept reality instead of trying to make reality be what I want it to be, the happier and more peaceful I am. And also? It’s fine if you believe something different and maybe even awesome if you do, because that will give us a chance to talk about how we both feel and explore new ideas and learn new things and love the differences in each other.

Though this exploration, I’ve found that I can spot in an instant when other people start telling me what I believe based on their understanding of their own truth. When they start in with the intent to change my mind, I know that they aren’t really listening and everything they are saying is all about them. A reflection of how closely they must cling to their truths. It’s how THEY are inside. It’s their own fears about someone believing differently.

But when someone is truly trying to understand and they are listening with their hearts more than telling me, with their knowledge, why I’m wrong, we get on quite well. Next up – world peace.

18 Replies to “Phew”

  1. That was awesome. It also happens to be what I believe, too, so maybe I’m biased, but well said! Also, I think I might have a religion for you: Unitarianism. “All are welcome” sums it up pretty well—and they mean it. I figure if I ever get the urge to go back to church someday, I’ll try out a Unitarian one… or maybe the High Episcopal place down the street, which from what I can hear coming out the windows, has a great choir.

    Not being a people person, I tend to appreciate churches most when they’re empty.

  2. You have such an excellent way of expressing yourself, Leah.
    I’m in the same boat–religion wise–as you.
    I don’t believe you need to be part of an organized religion to be spiritual, and refuse to be brow-beaten by those who drank the Koolaid.
    Anyway, I’ve been checking out Unity. I think they might meet your quals.
    Have an awesome Labor Day!

  3. i love the way you articulated this,

    “Though this exploration, I’ve found that I can spot in an instant when other people start telling me what I believe based on their understanding of their own truth. When they start in with the intent to change my mind, I know that they aren’t really listening and everything they are saying is all about them. A reflection of how closely they must cling to their truths. It’s how THEY are inside. It’s their own fears about someone believing differently.”

    i believe it to be true too that they are using you or me or them as a diving board of sorts.

  4. Thank you. I feel very much the same way. I grew up in what I describe as a “rabid Baptist” religion. I have since experienced a Reverse Conversion on the Road to Damascus, and never been happier. Curiously, my best friend is a very devout Christian, and it’s never been a problem.

    He was talking to his mom the other day, about a recent conversation we had had about faith vs. condemnation, and she paid me the weirdest compliment that I’m actually proud of. She said, “I think Jill is more Christian than most Christians I know.”

    It’s the kind of pride that feels like you are petting a baby bunny, and no one is more shocked than myself.

  5. “Being kind and loving is not the same thing as being a Christian, although they can both reside in the same person and do often.

    I agree 100%.

    I find the same judgement in reverse: because of my beliefs…. people judge me based on every crappy person they’ve known of my same faith, before ever knowing me….people want to fix me… Enlighten me… make jokes at my expense, and debate and PROVE to me how wrong I am…. Spending so much time and energy and money that could be used for such a far greater good.

    Life is too precious and too short to waste becoming judgemental of others’ choices.

  6. When I got pregnant, I started thinking about joing the Unitarian Universalist church because it is so inclusive and teaches about all religions. I was raised Catholic but the only thing I like about it is the ritual and tradition. I will have my baby baptised in the same church where I was baptised, had my first communion and was married, but I don’t want her to think that is all there is.

  7. Heathen. Obviously you are going to a very bad place.

    joking. We pretty much think the same way.

    I studied with my old spiritual advisor, Mary Olive Hill, for about 7 years before she died at age 90. Every once in a while, someone would get angry with the ideas she presented. “This class may not be right for you, then” she would say, without a touch of rancor or regret. They would leave and she would never mention it. She was cool with whatever happened. I want to grow up to be like her.

  8. I love the scrabble banner too!

    “I have huge issues with Jesus Christ dying for my sins when I had no say in the matter and being indebted to him for eternity.” That’s exactly what I used to say, before I became a Christian, ha. (NOT said with the intent to change your mind.)

    As a Christian, even though I hope people will be converted, I dislike my religion’s emphasis on converting others. I never try to convert anyone. Personally it makes me feel like a used-car salesman, and I think the person I’m speaking with, and God, and I, are all better than that. If the underlying motivation in befriending someone is to convert them, that’s not genuine friendship, that’s just savvy marketing.

    “I believe you can be a good person, a great person and not believe in any specific higher power…” I think so too. Religion and morality are NOT synonymous. I know scads of people who aren’t Christians, or religious at all, who are much gooder (is too a word) than I am. My mother for one.

    FYI, I’m pretty sure the Unitarians are just there for community support and don’t care what you believe.

  9. I can’t believe (pardon the pun) how you succinctly wrote exactly what I think about organized religion. Bravo!
    I grew up in the Mormon church and the rest of my family (sans my brother) is still neck deep in it. I escaped when I was about 16 years old, but went back when I was 18 so I could go to Rick’s College on my folk’s dime (only to quit 3 mos. later). Then, I got pregnant. Well, what does a knocked up Mormon girl do? She marries the guy “to make it right”. Bleh. Two years later, divorced.
    When your family is so into the church, it’s hard to know you actually have choices. It took me about 10 years to finally “come out” to my folks and when I did, I was told they still love me but I would never be happy until I went back to the church. What a thing to place on someone’s psyche!
    I’ll never forget being about 14 years old and asking my Sunday school teacher, “Who says this Joseph Smith guy isn’t just some kook?” That teacher’s face was priceless. “Well, you just have faith!” GAH!
    What I do know is that as a result of the brainwashing in my formative years, I wasted a good portion of my life.
    A higher power, probably. Life after death, maybe (it could be I just want it). Being a good person, that never hurts. Just do the right thing and you’ll be fine. That’s my motto.

  10. I love your honesty, Leah. I love you more and more each time I get to peak inside your soul. I think it’s time for a Palm Desert reunion.

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