37

Today is my birthday. I’m 37. I’ve never had a hard time with a birthday until this year. I feel like 37 is so close to 40. And 40 is so close to 50 and 50 is so close to 60 and then Joe interrupts me to tell me he’ll just go ahead and call the morgue in the morning.

I haven’t done anything yet. I want to do so much stuff and I feel like I’m running out of time. I need to create stronger bonds with my children. I’m disappointed that I’m still overweight. My hair is too short. I still have acne. I’ve barely scratched the surface of the web social networking that I want to be a part of creating.

My birthday is always so close to New Year’s that I most often than not confuse the two with all the resolutions in my head. My birthday ends up being a day of promises made to myself that hardly ever are kept. But this year….this year it’s worse.

So for the rest of the day I’m going to do my darndest to try and feel positive. Wish me luck.

35 Replies to “37”

  1. De-Lurking to tell you Happy Birthday !
    I love your site and am completely jealous of your creativity and self-less-ness !

    Thank you.

  2. Happy Birthday, Leah P! I have always found the ‘7’s daunting as well. Now that I’m THIS big, I’m getting over it. I think. But this wasn’t a 7 for me, so I can’t tell.

    Whatever. You are who you are and you’ll do what you do–and those who love you will never see you any better or worse. Those who don’t? Fuck ’em!

  3. I turned 39 on Wednesday and for the first time ever I had the same problem. It’s wigging me out. All the pressures I’m feeling the pressure that I shouldn’t feel all this pressure over a stupid birthday!

    Good luck with the feelings and have a beautiful birthday!

  4. Happy Birthday! I’ll be 35 in a couple months and for the first time I feel old. I can’t call myself a “woman in her early thirties” anymore. I wouldn’t do my twenties over for anything, but being five years away from 40 doesn’t make me jump for joy.

  5. Happy Birthday! I second Tamara – so glad you were born! So much wonderful writing and creativity. You make so much and I have like three unfinished baby blankets in a box somewhere.
    In the manner of LeahPeah, I’ll break those puppies out this weekend to see if I can finish them!

  6. Yah, the 7s are weird. I find the 7s more of a milestone than the 0s. And the birthday/New Years/re-evaluate the life thing? Ditto. Look at it this way, it saves time. We get self-examination, angst and goal-setting out of the way all at once.

    What I’m telling myself this year is, focus on doing. I can think a lot about things, talk about them, but until I do something, not much happens. I believe I learned that from you…. something about “less time thinking”… sound familiar? 🙂

    Lurrrrve you! If I were there I would lick your face.

  7. I’m sorry you’re feeling blue, but I beg to differ about your feeling like you haven’t done anything. The community you created at Real Mental is one of the most amazing group of people I’ve ever had the privilege to know– that so many people spend such emotion and use such eloquence to bare themselves and hold each other up is a testament to the inspiration you are able to create in others.

    Personally, just knowing that that community is there, and that people want to read what everyone else has to say, whether it’s needing or giving, has made a real difference in the long dark night this year has been for me. So… you’ve saved at least my life.

    I hope that knowing the joy you’ve brought to others gives you a little more joy today. Hugs.

  8. Happy birthday Leah. I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit for what you have done and you’ve still got three whole years until you’re 40. A lot can happen in three years if you want it to. Go get em girl!

  9. Hey. Miz LeahPeah – You MADE IT to 37. I’ll betcha you had more than one moment when that seemed impossible. And yet here you are.

    And you know what? Late bloomers rock. I’m still “just about” to take off and fly.

    So, I hope you celebrate! It’s going to be a great year for you!

  10. I came back to add something that’s so obvious I can’t believe I overlooked it. Let’s review, shall we? You have…

    – raised 4 terrific, smart, responsible, well-adjusted children who are growing into terrific, smart, responsible, well-adjusted teenagers
    – maintained a strong and loving marriage through considerable external challenges
    – created thoughtful, beautiful, professional art across a wide variety of media
    – written a book
    – written a stack of excellent interviews
    – produced and cultivated some kickass websites
    – created handmade Christmas gifts every friggin’ year
    – made jewelry that women were climbing over each other to get
    – designed a t-shirt that looks like the best boob job ever AND makes a social statement

    Hmm, let’s see… have I missed anything? Oh yeah, the whole “got yourself integrated” part.

    Dude. Do you realize that any ONE of those things is enough for the average person to just call it a day?

    Yeah, yeah… there’s stuff to be done. But there will ALWAYS be stuff to be done. That’s just how life works. (oh, and the acne? It’ll magically go away when you’re 47. trust me on this.)

    37 is still young. And you’ve done a helluva lot for 37.

    xoxoxox

  11. Happy Birthday Leah, You are beautiful!!!! Just take one day at a time and enjoy the moments you are given and make the most of every single day and always allow God to lead the way!!!!!! He wants to give you the desires of your heart.

  12. Happy, happy birthday, Leah. Edging toward my 41st birthday with a few new healthier habits in development, I can say that this stage of life is turning out to be pretty damned liberating and empowering. It takes a lot more work, but something about how imperative it is due to aging and the recognition that god willing it’s almost halfway done…well…it just feels good.

    Here’s wishing you a very fruitful year with the relationships you adore growing deeper and closer, your self-awareness more clear and while we’re at it…a growing bank account!

  13. Happy Happy Birthday! Totally understand what you’re saying but try to have fun anyway. 🙂 There’s still lots of time to get it all done.

  14. Happy Belated Birthday, Leah.
    I hope it was a good one. Please re-read the list of your accomplishments that Susan M posted…That is Amazing! That is YOU! YOU ARE AMAZING….

  15. Happy Birthday Leah! I reckon a birthday is a day to enjoy yourself and not think too deeply… or as my family are fond of saying (because we’re prone to it) “Don’t ‘should’ on yourself!”

  16. i’m delurking to wish you a happy birthday!
    i’m 36 tomorrow…i agree with other posters that there is something about the 7s…i hated my 27th (i hope i’m better about 37, not minding 36 so much…yet!). my best guess is that it’s because you can no longer say mid-thirties.

    well, have a happy birthday and stay positive!

  17. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    You are a truly amazing person, in virtually every way. You’ve accomplished so much and will do much, much more.

    For your birthday I hope the desire to do great things will be an inspiration and never something that causes sorrow and regret. I know you WILL do great things because you already have.

  18. Oh Leah! Here you are with these remarkable gifts and great insights and excellent writing and a river of high regard from your blogger sisters. You’ve gotten yourself so far into this beautiful universe we inhabit here on the Web and you are (trust me) beautiful. So – I’m on the OTHER side of 60 and I try not to spend too much time on what I haven’t done (and believe me, I’ve walked into some walls that detoured my own “plans.” More than I will ever write about.)
    The fact is that a family, a community (on and offline) and gifts like your talents arm you well for the years to come. So HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! You are only going to get better – and better- and better (which is pretty hard, given how good you are already.)

  19. Just looking at your website you have done more than most people do with their ‘ordinary’ lives.
    Love and strength!
    x

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